Men & Depression

Women, on the other hand, do talk more about personal issues and they seem to have more empathy for someone in need than do men.  Women seem more likely to reach out whereas men seem more likely to withdraw - under the same set of circumstances.     

I will not, because of past experiences, tell any of my male friends I have depression.  I might "suggest" I have anxiety, but nothing more than that.  I have seen several counselors and therapists over the years and only one time was it a man - and it was only one visit - I never went back to see him again.  I just did not feel comfortable talking about the issues to him, and there was something that told me I would never be fully open and honest with him.

I feel, for me, this "man" thing is a detriment to recovery, and I'm not sure how I can overcome it.  That I am writing here is a plus, that I am seeing a therapist is a plus, but I will never have a personal support group behind me, and I can see I have pretty much battled this problem in the past - alone - and I fully expect I will be battling it in the future - alone.

I have great empathy for those going through depression because I know its pain.  I feel good about being able to support others who write here.  But why is it I don't feel good about reaching out for myself?  If I was told there was a depression support group that met in my town every week, I really doubt I would go there.  There probably is a group, and you know, I won't even look it up to see if there is because I know I would not go there.  Is that messed up - or what . . .

Scythia

Yep, men do like to talk about work, and with my employment going south, doesn't predispose me to striking up conversatiions with other guys.  Then add in the surgery I had for two degenerative cervical discs a couple years ago.  Though the nerve pains have been eliminated, I have neck pains almost daily from the spot where surgery was performed.  Working with computers aggravates the condition as does sitting in chairs that don't have neck and back support, like bleacher seats.  My therapist was quite concerned when she found out about the number of motrin I take daily.  So was my doctor's office when I told them.  Seeing them tomorrow about going to a pain clinic.

Some days I just don't know.  My situation seems so complicated, I can't see any end to it.

Appreciate your support!!!   Good luck with your appt. as well.  That's a strange thing about me - normally not that talkative, but there are times when I can't be shut up either, and therapy, well, that seems to be one of them.

Thanks, friend.

Thanks for finding the link.  Yeah - mean are defined by their jobs, and yeah, when that goes away, it really does affect them - that's me to a T.  Cannot even begin to describe the "uselessness" feelings that have haunted me and continue to do so. 

Going to see the doc today to hopefully get a referral to the pain clinic.  Have talked about some med options with my therapist, but she really wants me to get into the pain clinic to see what they recommend, since that's their area of expertise.  I've been on long-term pain/inflammation meds before though, but unfortunately, the ones I was prescribed were either inneffective or had some lousy side-effects, so all of those eventually got flushed.  She claims it is a top-notch clinic, and they will do their best to find something that works for me, so I'm hopeful with that.

The reason I use motrin is motrin is extremely effective at relieving pain for me, but I am aware of the possible long-term consequences.  Now I've got my regular physician worried about what I've done to my liver.  Like I need that problem too.  I'm really getting tired of one day just being a repeat of the one before.  I'd like to feel hopeful, and for longer than just a few days at a time (which is about the best I ever get).  For me right now, waking up every morning is normally the worst moment of every day.

I am guessing they will want to do bloodwork today.  NSAIDS do have those issues.

Crazy story about your son - glad it turned out for the best.  Did he have a spinal fluid leak?  A friend of mine once had one after a spinal tap - lasted a week - had severe migraines and couldn't tolerate light.

Will let you know what they say today.

Thanks.

Scythia

Doc's visit done.  Bloodwork ordered as I expected to check for liver and kidney issues.

He had no problem referring me to the pain clinic, so now things rest with them on calling me to make an appointment.  Docs office has to fax over the referral and medical records, so will see what we will see.  Will let you know when they get in touch with me.

Yep - told me I needed to limit my motrin to 9 a day at most and to make sure I eat every time I take it - which I told him I often didn't do - and that made him cringe.

Scythia

I should know better than to be taking the motrin without food.  Let me entertain you with the gist of our conversation on that.

The doctor "That's quite a lot of motrin.  I recommend you limit it to no more than nine a day.  And you should be taking them with food.  You have been taking them with food, right?"

Me "No.  A lot of time I take them on an empty stomach.  First thing in the morning, I'll take three of them . . ."

He looked aghast when I told him that. 

The doctor.  "Don't do that anymore.  They're not good for the stomach.  Have they given you problems?  Have you had any stomach pains?"

Me "No, actually, I haven't.  In fact, motrin doesn't seem to bother my stomach at all, and it seems to knock the pain out pretty well.  Now if I take just one aspirin, that will kill me."

He shook his head slowly, and I could tell he was in thought.  I could also tell he didn't like what he was hearing from me.  "I'll refer you to the pain clinic, but we also need to run a blood test, check on your liver and kidneys.  Let me write those scripts up for you."

(I know, I'm an idiot.  Motrin had become such a common thing for me, I didn't even think of the long-term consequences.  I can honestly say I've taken it on a regular basis for nearly two years now.  Now I'm going to worry that I've done something irreversible.  Stupid, stupid, stupid . . .) 

I am so glad you have found the members here to be so kind and caring.  I know the topic here goes back and forth but I just wanted to share my thoughts and experiences in dealing with men and mental health issues.

Sadness isn't macho ! Male depression seems to go unrecognized because unlike female depression it doesn't  fit the textbook signs. Men will often  complain about problems at work or their performance on the job. Instead of being weepy, men are more apt to be irritable and angry -- moods that aren't included in the classic diagnostic tests. Their sadness and helplessness are hidden behind a mask of anger.

If they feel bad, they're apt to get into fights on the job or at home, withdraw from family and friends, become obsessed with work or hobbies. Most significantly, men often turn to drinking or drugs. Even my husband has an extremely hard time dealing with my  depression.

I posted this back awhile ago when I was feeling down as my hubby was frustrated and telling me to just "get over it" ~ "get a grip" and I felt so alone.