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Not suicidal, but hopeless.

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Depression
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Posted 11/14/2010 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
I am young. All my life I have suffered from depression. No energy, fear of life, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of friends. I met the man I want to marry two years ago. We plan on getting married soon. I am my second to last semester of my social services diploma. I have two beautiful nieces. But no friends. I isolate myself. I have social anxiety, and hate people. I am living in the town I was raised in. When I was 13 my dad died and we moved away. I thought life would be better iif I lived here again. I smoke  everyday. I am addicted to it. I am so 'normal' I have everyone around me fooled. But then there are days like today. When I cant smoke, and so I feel the pain. I am not suicidal, but I am hopeless. My life is going the way I want it to, but today, I am too stressed to be happy. I am to depressed to see the forest through the trees.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/15/2010 5:27:25 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/14/2010 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
I've been close to the same way except my dad didn't die nd I havent found anyone I've just fallen a little too many times ... I never get to see my father he does nothing special either like he's not in the army or anything that would keep him away from us he just thinks about himself a lot ... My mother has depression and so does my grandmother ... She believes it all about depression and everything but she's currently dieing at age 57 while my mother won't listen to anyone, me, the doctor, my grandma ... No one ... Right now I'm laying in my bed blarring depressing music as I cry my eyes out ...
Posted 11/15/2010 12:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there and welcome to the forum. I am sorry that I had to edit your post, but we are not allowed to talk about illegal substances here. I hope that you can understand.

It sounds like you are going through a rough patch right now, but things do get better. Learn to take life one day at a time. Live in the present, the now if you will. It makes things go a lot easier that way.

If you feel you have a problem with the other, send me an email. I will discuss it with you, but we can't here on the forum.

Take care my new friend.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/16/2010 11:46 AM (GMT 0)
hoping you feel better soon. healing does happen. i am back in therapy, maybe some specialised counselling will help you. a good place to start is with your doctor. with compassion, jamie.
Posted 11/16/2010 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
hi i am new hear ,
i really like to chat to someone about regrets.... depression... anxiety.... stress...
xx
Posted 1/26/2011 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
I have anxiety too. I hate being depressed. When I get depressed I don't want to get out and do anything.
Like today after lunch I just want to sit at here at home and make myself righteously bored.
I have nothing to look forward to this month but the next month is my grandmothers 90th. So that will take me out of the blues.I cannot believe my depressing thoughts and worsening depression is still here. Its ongoing like a runaway train. I hate this and just want out now. Im giving up.
Posted 1/26/2011 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
Giving up,

Have you thought about taking vitamin D3? It is a good supplement to take at this time of year when the days are short. You might be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. I take about 2000iu a day and it helps me to feel better. Talk to your doc about it. You may even need a medication adjustment.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/26/2011 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Giving up is not an option - :-)

Members with depression do get better as many of the members here can attest to.  I am one and I have had depression for 29 years, oops that makes me really old.  shocked

You're in a very dark place right now and it's hard and lonely. But everything will be okay with time. You need someone to talk to and we can fulfill that hole for you to some extent, so it's good you found us.

One step at a time, one problem at a time.

Kindly,

Kitt
Posted 1/28/2011 7:15 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Kitt and Karen. You two are going to help through this dark and cloudy time.
Posted 1/30/2011 4:07 AM (GMT 0)
it does and will get better. with compassion, jamie. i am not going to succumb to that dirty black hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! been in it tooooo many times, and alike kitt i have been living with this for a very long time now. jamie.

KEEP FIGHTIN' EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH COMPASSION, JAMIE.
Posted 1/30/2011 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
it is so weird how much i can relate to that. i was functioning so well no one noticed how depressed i was until i let the cat out of the bag. you know what? you should go to a doctor. i have had really bad social anxiety in my life, and it was almost uncanny how much a lot of that lifted when i was on the right medication. i didn't have an attitude problem at all, i just had a chemical problem. and it's so hard to separate the two problems. don't suffer in silence, can you see a doctor? i suggest doctor first, and then later, if you get your chemicals right, then go see a counselor about other problems. they will be much easier to deal with once you just have regular chemicals in your brain. seriously
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