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Posted 12/16/2010 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
well i had my health assessment and diagnostic assessment today and it just seems like alot of people to deal with. i have my therapist, a nurse, a caseworker, and soon to be psychiatrist. the assessments went well and he thinks with groups and meds and lists i should get to where i need to be. i go the 30 to see the psychiatrist and then maybe i will get my meds. it just seems like a lot and taking alot of time when i want it done now. i know im impatient. it seems like my world is filling up fast with doctors and doctors and doctors. do i need any more. the caseworker wants me to go to an alnon meeting, and look at CHADD which is a foundation for ADD, and he says since it is in my family history to keep my mind open that bipolar cannot be ruled out down the road, in which case i would be on two different meds. omg it is a hole lot. its a lot to process and figure out.

i go on wednesday for my surgery so i will not be on for a week or at least til i am feeling up to it. i will miss you guys the week that i am gone. i just want to be normal again as i dont feel so normal right now. but i am learning to love myself again. its slow but im learning. oh my caseworker says im not stupid either.

Posted 12/16/2010 8:28 PM (GMT 0)
i hope you get the help you deserve :)

and have faith that everything will be okay :)

keep us updated, you have friends in us here at healingwell who are willing to listen and give you advice and encouragement when you need it :)

Post Edited (whathurtsthemost) : 12/16/2010 1:36:00 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/16/2010 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hey WG,

You do have a lot coming at you all at once. Just go with the flow and take it as it comes. It is all good and you should enjoy that.

One thing I have to say is of course you are not stupid. You sound very bright to me. I don't know why you would think that. Unless somebody treats you that way. Know that you are a very intelligent person and worthy of all good things to come.

We will be thinking of you. I hope that your surgery goes well. I hope that you can get on once in a while and give us an update. Know that we are all in your corner rooting for you!!!

Take care WG, keep us posted as to what is going on if you can. We expect to hear from a happier you when you get your surgery over with. Best wishes for a wonderful holiday season.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/17/2010 5:07 PM (GMT 0)
i know it is all good and i am excited about it but i am scared. i am scared that i am making the wrong decisions, that something will come to bite me in the butt so to speak. im scared about all the doctors. i dont understand why the case worker wants me to go to a alnon meeting. my mom has been dead a year and she quit alcohol for the longest time. that is something im gonna have to ask my therapist on. i understand needing a nurse and a psychiatrist but why a caseworker? i have yet to go to a dentist, another doctor of sorts and i need to go back to my eye specialist yet another doctor. all of this is frightening to me. i hate change and i feel as if my life is changing rapidly and that scares the hell outta me. maybe i should have stayed in my shell. i just looked in the mirror and i look awful. the dark spots under my eyes are really dark. i need more sleep. that and i have to wait til Dec. 30 for any meds. i want my life back under control now, i dont want to wait.
Posted 12/17/2010 5:51 PM (GMT 0)
This will all fall into place for you. You are just not use to good things happening all at once. Step back and take a deep breath. Relax and take it as it comes. I too have to make an appointment with the dentist. I am embarrassed because I have waited too long. I don't know if my teeth can even be saved. Not looking forward to this at all.

I have a problem with change too. But I read somewhere that the only thing in life that doesn't change is the fact that there will always be change. So I think you and I should both accept that. It is hard, I know. I like things in my control, but in life once we accept that we can't control everything, it becomes a lot easier. I shelter myself. I am a hermit in the winter. Only go out when I have to. That isn't healthy. So I try to get out and visit people. Easier said than done. I get nervous when I am out of my comfort zone. Working on that.

Take care, keep posting. You will do well.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/18/2010 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
you are right karen but yet i fear change and yet i need change at the same time. i am also starting to feel left out of things. the week of my surgery my work is having a christmas party yet i cant attend because its the day after my surgery and my work would kill me for coming after i had surgery and cant work. i feell that i am the only person in the world that is feeling what i feel, dealing with ADD and not knowing how to cope. i even snapped at a customer last night cause we were closed yet he was in line before we closed. he was upset, and in my defense i didnt mean for it to come out the way it did. he was going to complain but i upgraded his fries, gave him two free coupons and apologized my heart out and even shook his hand. i dont think he will complain. i just told him that i shouldnt have snapped(and it really wasnt snapping i just said something but it came out harsher then i intended). i dont know how to stop how im thinking and feeling to keep from coming out of my mouth. its like i have no filter on my brain.
Posted 12/18/2010 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
We tend to get cranky when we are tired and our shift is comeing to an end and one straggler comes in for something. Don't beat yourself up over that. You did the right thing by giving him good fries and coupons. This way he wont complain to the manager. And you appologized. That is huge. I am proud of you. You will make it. One day at a time. I can't wait for your surgery to be over, and I hope that it goes well for you. You will feel so much better.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/18/2010 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
OMG i so hate people. someone hacked my facebook account, change my profile picture, put stupid status up like im a dork, and i been hacked, and im not really getting my nose done, im staying home to play with my little girl i love her so much. i know harmless but now someone has access to my crap and i had a hard time to get into my email, had to change my password which i will never remember as i have to stray from my normal passwords and with my ADD i cant remember crap like that. im sorry im angry but it upsets me.
Posted 12/18/2010 10:20 PM (GMT 0)
WG,

First of all - big breath.  I have been on facebook for about a year but I finally found it took way to much of my time and I just stopped posting cold turkey - I have not missed it.  I come here and talk to so many wonderful people so try to keep FB in perspective and just fix your FB by changing things back to the way you want them in your profile. 

Am I reading your post correctly,  you are not having any surgery but made that up as you are really staying home to play with your little girl.

Sweetie,  I am wondering why you felt you would have to make up a story as staying home to play with your daughter is a great thing,  it is rewarding to love your child and feel the love back. 

Are you really scheduled to see the many doctors you talked of and you are getting counseling?  I hope so and remember you can always be straightforward with us.  We are here to support you and we care about your health so remember to stay in the moment and know that things always have a way of working out eventually.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

Posted 12/19/2010 8:14 AM (GMT 0)
no kitt you read it wrong, thats what they put as my status on my facebook when they hacked it. yes i am having surgery, i would never lie about something like that. i am having that many doctor visits coming up too. i was stating that someone hacked my account and put those as my statuses.
Posted 12/19/2010 8:42 AM (GMT 0)
sorry that people have hacked your fb. all the best with the surgery. with compassion, jamie. here 4 ya.
Posted 12/30/2010 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
well i went to see my psychiatrist today. she says definitely dont see any bipolar but does see the ADD. she has started me out on 40mg of straterra. i go back in two weeks for a follow up. again alot of doctors it seems. i have my therapist on the 11th, the 10th i have my ENT again, and the 14th another psychiatrist apptment which means another visit with their nurse and a case manager.
Posted 12/30/2010 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
I have heard that strattera is a good medication. I prefer something with a stimulant, but that is just me. Stimulants would not help you with add. But these meds do work for add and I wish you the best with this. I am sure it will make it easier for you with work, being able to concentrate. Do let us know how that goes. You have two good things going for you now. I think it will be a lot easier to cope for you. Good luck with the strattera.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/30/2010 8:36 PM (GMT 0)
Worriedgirl,

I am so sorry about the facebook hacking. Who on earth would want to do that against you? Its pathetic and juvenile. I hope you find out who it is soon. They dont deserve to get away with it.

many hugs, arielle.
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