depressed..I think I have dyspraxia

      Hello everyone.  I am a 25 year old female med student. I'm currently studying for my national boards in March. While studying, I came across poor muscle tone "hypotonia" and googled it. The term dyspraxia came up. After reading the symptoms, I realized that I had alot of them.. especially while growing up!

      I've always done well in school. Although my mom said I learned to walk and talk at a normal age, I still think I may have some symptoms of dyspraxia. I never really liked reading but I always loved math. My main issue is motor skills. I was never really good at running, swimming, ice skating..etc. pretty much any sport. I still am not good at sports. I was never good at throwing or catching a ball. I dreaded gym class and some kids would make fun of me because I couldn't throw a ball very far and couldn't run fast. I remember it took me awhile to learn to ride a bike and tie my shoes laces. I learned to ride a 2 wheeler when I was about 6 years old (I could ride a bike with training wheels until 6 years old), but I remember struggling at first. I am still bad at sports eventhough I was on the swim team in high school (I wasn't great). I also played the piano for 7 years, took ballet for 2 years, and was in a dance group for about 8 years. I never had a problem with dancing or playing the piano if I practiced alot. I get lost alot when I drive, so I got a GPS and that helps alot. I got straight A's in elementary, middle school and high school. I was in the honor roll in high school but I did study alot. When I got to college I started getting C's and that's when I developed anxiety and depression. I am currently in med school, I am near the bottom of my class with an 81% overall GPA. I did need to repeat one year because I failed one class my first year of med school. Right now I am doing well. I just have one more year to go. But I still have problems with concentration, anxiety, depression, and ulcerative colitis. I am on medication for all these conditions. I always have had a few close group of friends. but I whenever I talk in a big group, I would sometimes just day dream or not pay attention to what people were saying. People with this disorder have poor short term memory and get lost easily (like which direction they came from when coming out of a store). This happens to my mom and I alot. I remember that I used to have a difficult time fastening buttons and opening jars and packets. I still have trouble with jars and packets. I still have trouble peeling apples, potatoes, folding clothes neatly, spilling while pouring liquids sometimes etc. My uncle, mom, and grandfather also have some of these motor problems but they are both highly educated. Do you think I have dyspraxia? Is there something wrong with my brain? Is there anything that can be done to treat this? 

        My parents told me that I always had some problems with my motor skills but that I don't have a disorder. My boyfriend thinks I'm making a big deal about this and says there's so many worse diseases out there. I agree but I am really depressed right now. Now I realize why my parents were scared for me to learn to drive (some people with this condition can't really judge the speed/position of things), and why they still don't let me put a nail on the wall to hang a painting, or assemble things together. I went to a neurologist a few days ago. He told me that I do not have dyspraxia. He said that I can get more tests done if I wanted to but he performed various tests on me and said I did fine. He is going to test me for vitamin B12 deficiency since that can affect memory. I do have anxiety and he said anxiety and depression can affect motor skills and memory as well. I hope he is right. He also said that I can always do occupational therapy if I feel like I want to fine tune my motor skills. He said if I do have dyspraxia, it's mild. It's hard for me to focus on studying because I think there's something wrong with my brain. Everytime I drop something, or lose something it comes back to thinking I could have dyspraxia. I don't know what to do.  I had a CT scan done 6 years ago and everything was normal. The thing is.. people with dyspraxia don't show anything wrong with them on the CT scan.  I'm so depressed. 

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 1/16/2011 3:23:00 PM (GMT-7)

I agree with Karen, though only a doctor could say for sure. It's pretty common for nurses and med students to read about diagnoses and think they might have them. If it didn't bother you enough to go to the doctor before you read about dyspraxia in your textbook, it's unlikely you have it.

It is possible that you have anxiety. Anxiety and depression can both affect learning. The other issue you might be running up against is that your university courses are just more difficult that your high school courses were. Talk to your professors. Ask about how much time students commonly spend studying in order to earn an A in the course. If you are spending at least 25% more time that what is typical, I'd suggest setting up an appointment to meet with your academic adviser. Take as many of his/her suggestions as possible.

If that's still not doing it, schedule an appointment with a counselor for an evaluation. Finally, if you still have yet to uncover anything after all that, find an educational psychologist and get tested for a learning disability. It is possible that you may be Twice Exceptional (2e) -- that is, you are gifted, but also have some kind of learning disability (dyslexia, ADD, SPD). Individuals who are gifted and have a mood disorder are also categorized as 2e's. If that's the case, your campus ACCESS program should be able to offer you resources to improve your grades.

As a last point, you're not taking anything to help you stay awake to study, are you? I know in some medical programs students take copious amounts of caffeine, OTC meds, or even prescription meds like Ritalin. That's a recipe for disaster. If you've been doing that, I would suspect that may be the culprit. alertness aids alter the brain & change how material is retained/available for recall. Results can be very mixed & if you already have a predisposition to anxiety, your ability to recall information learned while on an alertness aid can be significantly decreased. Talk to your counselor about dropping a class so you can get more sleep.

Hope that helps!
frances

Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 1/16/2011 4:40:58 PM (GMT-7)