Relationship - help/advice

Lets see, where do I begin...
My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now.
A few months ago he had to move to NC and he is now working at his brothers gas station.
Im pretty good with the whole 'long distance relationship' thing. It was hard at first but I mean, as long as we get to talk every day or every other day, Im fine.

Ever since he moved, we've been going downhill, then uphill, then downhill, then uphill, and now back to downhill. Except this time its just gotten worse and worse.
Lately we havent been talking much. He is literally ALWAYS busy. he works from morning till 11 at night and it takes a humongous toll on him. This past month hes just been going on and on about how he never has time to talk to me. He only has time to work, eat, sleep, and shower. He really doesnt have time for himself. Like, I get that, and I should be understanding when he doesnt talk to me; but i cant. These past 2 weeks we've barely talked or texted eachother and this past weeek we've texted here and there but havent talked at all which really pisses me off.

I really snapped hard on him the other day when he went to go smoke instead of talking to me on the phone. He told me that he needed it and that i wouldnt understand how he feels. When i told him to tell me, the response I got from him, is something I didnt want to hear. He told me that he feels like hes going insane. That hes depressed and at times he feels like hurting himself. I just cried and broke down when he told me this. I suggested that he talk to a counselor but he refused. I cant force him to, its up to him.

He always tries to talk to me at night when he gets home from work but hes either too tired, or he falls asleep before he even calls, which just sucks. I dont know how to cope with this without getting upset. We give eachother more attitude when we talk, we fight more, we barely say "i love you" ... that just breaks my heart. He told me that if things keep going the way they are then he thinks its best to just take a break so he can breathe and collect himself and get his life back. If that happens, i wanna be understanding but i dont know how i can cope with that.

I just need advice on everything right now. I cant turn to anyone else. I feel sad, Im depressed, now its like, when i actually DO get to talk to him, Im not even happy anymore or excited because i havent talked to him in such a long time that i lost some interest. Were both depressed. He just never has time for himself and i know i should give him that time, but when is there time for me? you know?

We havent talked or texted today and im just upset and i feel sad and i need advice and someone to help coach me in this relationship. Sorry i wrote so much, i just have so much to say. I need all the help i can get. I appreciate you all taking your time to read this...

When will you see eachother again? Can you move to NC? Why didn't you go with him? Are you going to school or working somewhere?

It is hard with long distance relationships. It sounds like you are getting depressed and may need some counseling too. It would help you with these issues. And learn how to cope with him and his issues. So think about it.

Keep coming here for support. We can do that for you. I hope things get better between the two of you. I am sure that he is very busy right now. So have patience.

Hugs, Karen

I'm 17 and he's 18. Young I know. He's planning on coming back in the summer for good and head to college. I'm just afraid that before that even happens we won't be together. I didn't move with him b/c my parents wouldn't allow that. Which is understandable. I really appreciate you guys helping me out. I hope it continues. I know were young, I know that, but it's love; I can tell. I just need advice.

Good Afternoon,

I'll be honest: long distance relationships don't have very good odds of surviving. It might be fun for a while to chat online and sneak phone calls, but unless there's an end in sight (when you actually get to see each other for a long stretch of time), everyone's got a breaking point.

And that's only fair when you 17 and 18,  as great as phone calls can be, they're nothing compared to being in the same room as someone you love.

I'm not saying that your boyfriend doesn't care about you, or that this relationship isn't important to him. But it sounds like he's reached his breaking point which may be  why  his behavior has changed toward you.

Make the most of the time you have together. Whether that time is on the phone or in person, don't waste it. Don't spend your entire hour-long phone conversation lamenting about how much you miss one another, and how much you hate long-distance relationships. Those kinds of things can be brought up from time to time, but don't dwell on the negative. Instead, focus on enjoying the time you do have together. Talk about your plans for the future, or even just the little things that happened to you throughout the day. Focusing on the negative will make your relationship feel like work instead of joyful and fun, and that will be a quick mood-killer. Sometimes it's hard to let go of the sadness, but make an effort to help one another see the good things in your relationship.

I went through more then one long distance relationship as a teen from 16-17 as some  of the guys I knew were in the service.  I did not make them the love of my life but enjoyed their company when they were home on leave. 

Remember to be kind to yourself and enjoy your teen years even thow they seem tough at times you will look back on sweet memories one day.

Kindly,

Kitt