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Posted 4/3/2011 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
I decided to come to this board because depression is one of the main things I have going on. I've been seeing doctors for 9 years now, and have been on a few different combinations of antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds and antipsychotics. They can't seem to pinpoint what's wrong with me. But surely there must be something or they wouldn't have me on all this stuff.

Anyway I was just saying hi. I feel sad and I really don't think there's anything anyone can really do to stop how bad I feel. I have a job and a boyfriend, a BA and an MA, and two loving parents. There's no reason for me to be like this. I feel like I can't really turn to anyone, even my doctors (maybe especially them). I'm becoming resigned that this is how it's going to be. I've tried everything.
Posted 4/3/2011 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
I should add that there have been counsellors, an analytic psychotherapist (whose appointments I keep mixing up and I think she's angry at me), an occupational therapist and then the doctors themselves. I've been a patient in a psych ward and in a day hospital. I just don't know what to do; I've done everything there is. Don't get me wrong, there are periods where everything's better and I'm fine, and I think phew thank god that's over. But it always comes back. I gradually stop sleeping, stop socialising,  Ha that sounds really stupid. Anyway. I feel trapped. The end.

Also, the automatic American English word corrector is really irritating.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/3/2011 4:39:09 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/3/2011 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there Codename Wallaby,

I am so glad that you have decided to join us. I did have to remove a couple of sentences out of your post as we aren't allowed to discuss suicide or self harm on this forum. But I hope that we can help you in other areas.

Seeing that you do have some good days is a plus. But we should have more good than bad. For anybody a bad day here and there is normal. It sounds like you have a lot of issues with your mental health. But it sounds like you have a lot of it under control. Do try to make your appointments though as it is vital to your mental health. I myself have trouble making appointments. But I do try really hard. There was a time when I was constantly postponing them. One of my psychologist gave up on me. But I did find another one and I like her a lot. It means a lot when you can click with your psychologist or counselor.

I do hope that you feel better soon. I see that you have been encouraging to others here and that always makes us feel good. Keep posting and keep up the good work.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/3/2011 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
oooooohhhh no I feel really bad about that. I read the rules and everything but clearly I have difficulty understanding my native language. Anyway, it will absolutely not happen again. Aw man. My first post and everything.

I'll try and hook things up with the psychotherapist woman again. She's expensive but I really like her. Maybe I'll buy her a present to say sorry, once I finally make it to a session.

And also, thank you for your commendation of my control. My father has difficulty believing there's anything wrong with me, as I always seem normal. I don't really get why I can continue about my life but still feel so dreadful. Sometimes I think I must actually be making it all up, like. I have difficulty talking to my family/loved ones about what's going on. I lie to my mother about it all the time. It's driving my bf up the wall (we've been living together 3 years now. He's a saint).

Perhaps Wilde got it right: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."
Posted 4/3/2011 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
I like your quote. I imagine that is so true actually. I think that says it well for the forum. It is so much easier to talk about things when you remain anonymous. I find it that way anyways.

I think you have a grip on things and I think you can get better. It is hard, being depressed, to get started, but once you do, things just kind of happen. Keep trying. Do see your psychotherapist. I hope that you and him/her are a good match. That helps a lot.

Take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/4/2011 7:48 AM (GMT 0)
all the best with your therapist, jamie. i am in therapy. helps. with compassion, jamie
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