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Posted 4/5/2011 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
I feel so alone...

I was diagnosed with depression about three years ago. I am currently a senior in high school. I have the world at my finger tips, a great family, a good education, a great and supportive boyfriend, yet I feel like something is missing.

My dad passed away when I was young and my mom remarried (now divorced) a psycho. He triggered my anxiety. He belongs on a Lifetime movie.

I feel like I need something to numb the pain...some of my friends have suggested drugs.

I cry, in quiet, constantly. I feel like I have no one to relate to and that I am alone in life. No one truly understands me. I know that is the depression cliche, but it's true.

I dislike everything and everyone. Sometimes I am extremely happy and other times I can't seem to get myself together.

My pills have clearly stopped working. I am questioning whether or not I am bipolar now. I just need someone to talk to and relate to.
Posted 4/5/2011 11:15 AM (GMT 0)
first drugs are not the answer. i have seen the effects on both family and friends........it is hell. sounds like it is time for you to see your doctor. my suggestion would be to right down what is happening, this will aid the doctor with assessing you better. your dr. can refer you to a compassionate counsellor, i am in therapy and i highly recommend it. i am sorry your depressed. maybe it is time for a medication adjustment. alike depression bi-polar sux, me bi-polar, it is no tea party but there are things that you can do to eleviate it. same with depression. pls know that we are here for you blackstar. try to take things 1 day at a time. i send much healing compassion your way. you have been brave in posting, keep being brave and seek some help. jamie

Posted 4/5/2011 1:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Blackstar,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am so glad that you have joined us. Jamie is right, drugs aren't the answer. Just a temporary fix, you always feel worse after, same with alcohol. I think Jamie is right about making an appointment with your doctor and getting into counseling. You might need a medication adjustment at this point. Don't give up, get help.

Know that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/5/2011 2:43 PM (GMT 0)
You've chosen an interesting name for you identity, Black Star,

You know, I'm sure, that a black star is poweful energy that is hidden from human view. That may be one reason why you chose that name.

You have a lot of energy which is being depressed, and you need to
see a psychiatrist to be evaluated for possible mild bipolar illness, as you suggest you may have.

Just as importantly, you need to know that the people who are suggesting that you use drugs to numb yourself are not your real friends, Black Star. Anyone who would think to offer an idea that you should take drugs is someone who doesn't really know how to help you.
I'm so glad that you rejected that idea.

Numbing yourself is not the idea; the real help is in getting out whatever it is that is causing your depression and then to restore the chemical imbalance you may have. Only a specialist is able to do that.
You might wish to ask your mom to permit you to see a psychiatrist to get the appropriate help you need.

Just say "No!" to any offer of drugs by ignorant people who are badly mistaken about what people need for health.

Take care and I hope you will continue to post regarding your health.

It's Genetic
Posted 4/5/2011 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
hi there, i agree with jamie, drugs are only part of the solution, what helps me is family, and excersize and try to stop some of the bad habbits the addicting ones, such as smoking. walking seems to help me a lot, to see the sun everyday for a new hope.
Posted 4/5/2011 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Blackstar, I can totally relate. I lived through a terrible childhood with the step father from hell. But don't do drugs. I did. It only complicated things and caused me to have to deal with an addiction on top of everything else. I urge you to seek outside help. I always thought I could deal with things on my own, it took a recently failed suicide attempt to wake me up. Don't wait to talk to somebody outside of your situation today. You can be in the most horrible state of mind today but next week or even tomorrow something could happen that is wonderful, life is like that. Don't ever give up, your rainbow could be right around the corner.
Posted 4/5/2011 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Diamond in the rough,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am glad that you have decided to join us.

Hello to Akram too. It has been awhile.

I didn't edit your post, but wanted to let you know that we can't talk about suicide on here Diamond in the rough. Just for the future so that you know. By the way, I am glad that your attempt failed. I am happy that you are still with us and have a good attitude about things.

You are right, you never know in life when things will turn around or something good will happen. I think if we continue to try, these things will and do happen. Life is such a mystery at times.

Do keep posting, feel free to start an introductory thread of your own so that we can get to know eachother better. I think you will like it here.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/6/2011 4:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hey blackstar,

I can guarantee that drugs will create a whole new world of depression for you. And it could be a world that you can't come out of. Drugs = addiction, not numbness for mental health. Drugs = making your symptoms and life much worse.

Reach out to any support you can, we are here.

Hugs,
Mogs
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