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Dealing with Family Members and your Depression

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Posted 4/5/2011 10:50 PM (GMT 0)
hi :)

I've been thinking a lot about my family (parents) and how they're really not dealing with my depressed phases well at all. They swing from saying I'm exaggerating to I'm wanting attention to flat out not believing that I feel that bad - they keep saying if I felt as bad as I say, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.

But what do people expect? That I just roll over and take it? I make so much of an effort for them, to ease their worry about me, and then when I do look for help and support, it backlashes.

I'm nearly 26 and I know I shouldn't care at this stage what my parents think, but I was wondering if anyone else has had to deal with family members's reactions to their condition? Do you feel like you're letting them down when you're sad?
Posted 4/5/2011 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
I know how you feel, my parents don't understand my problems (especiallly depression) at all. They act like I should just get over it and snap out of it whenever I feel horrible. Sometimes it really hurts and it's frustrating that they don't act like they understand, but I'm trying to come to terms with it. I'm just trying to get well on my own and with the support of other people and I hope they can realize I'm doing the best I can. I hope your family realizes too that you do have a serious problem and support you rather and minimize your problems..good luck!
Posted 4/6/2011 12:08 AM (GMT 0)
Make sure that you don't let others opinions stop you from getting the support that you need.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/22/2011 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
My parents are passive-aggressive and my moods swings get in the way of my perception of them and their concerns. They can pile on guilt, but you gotta silently respect and honor them. This illness is horrible to your quality of life and relationships they may not see this directly, but how you handle yourself is what they notice.

I don't have children of my own so I don't know what it's like to hurt for a child. They probably don't know how to help? Don't get me wrong I know the crippling effects and devastation depressed lives can leave behind. It looks like irresponsibility to them. My parents have said we don't know how to help you. I wrote down on a piece of paper how they can help me. They know enough to not get hurt. So what they don't know won't hurt them. I am almost 40 I expected to be living a life of my own by now however I've been ill so yes I feel like I'm a disappointment, but I stil have my good days and bad days. I get ill and I have to cope and live the best life I can.
Posted 4/22/2011 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
Chasingstability,

Welcome to the forum. I am just butting in to welcome you. I hope that you are feeling well and are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/22/2011 7:10 PM (GMT 0)
It's really a shame that some parents (not all, by any means) can't recognize that we didn't build our own genetic makeup and that somewhere along the line depressive illness may be in the background of the family's history. If things get too difficult, point that out to them in an effort to help them understand that you are trying to find a solution that will give you a secure and content life and that you need to continue to seek the help of specialists who may help control a possibly inherited illness.

Those parents who don't understand a chemical imbalance need to know that there is valuable and positive help medically and that the patient should stay with the medication and therapy as long as needed and then be released to continue the work of building a healthy life--one that is far more helpful to society than that of the soul unwilling to do anything about himself (or herself) at all and places blame everywhere around himself. He's the one who needs pity.

Teach your parents in a helpful and positive way.

I.G.
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