Help with my life.

I am Amanda from Florida 27 years old with one strange life. I moved back to Florida 2 years ago and I wish I didn't but that is a different story. Lately things have been going rough. I recently finally got a job after a year and a half of taking care of my 20 month old son. My husband was relieved when I got a job. It is at a Call center for Verizon Wireless. I only been there 4 months until they pull laid off on us all. I barely have any experience and was finally getting the hang of it. I was happy to finally be helping out my husband. We are supporting my twin and her child and of course her man. One they both had a record of stealing so it's been hard to keep them looking for work. They been living off us for a year. My twin finally got a job but she is already complaining of the long hours only been four days. My husband and I fight over them and the stress of the money. I am depressed also because 6 months ago my sister was depressed about how her man does not show her love or sex anymore. So she had to blab it all to my husband and drinking her ass off and I guess he was drinking and he was trying to help her and she just got worse and starting crying and he was joking about maybe she can find someone else if she is not happy. He then said something of the line "I'd offer you my services but I know how your family are about secrets" and walked away. I found out and almost left him, he said he did not mean what he said. He was just trying to make her life and that he would not do anything like that to ruin what we have. He has never done anything like that before he has always been good to me. I am also just hoping to find a job before I get laid off and get the hell out of this house and have a normal life again and the hardest part is my husband is away for the month in the army no communication and I can not let out my feelings with him. I am afraid for our son that it is going to be a rough life, I am lost. help.

I think it is time for you and your husband and son to have a life of your own. You can't continue to support these other people in your life. It is called tough love. If they were stealing, they have to build up trust again and be able to support themselves. You can't continue to let this get in the way of your relationship with your husband. They have to go out on their own and make a life for themselves. Are you seeing a counselor? It would do you some good as you are obviously depresses. Take the steps to help yourself. Your daughter, her husband and child can get help through social services to get a house and some money and food. It is not you and your husband's responsibility.

Make a list of what is good in your life and what is bad. Compare the two sides. You will see where the problem lies. Then it is time to take action and get your life straight.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen

It sounds to me like they are using you. Don't let her make you feel bad when you don't buy them beer. You are going to have to put a foot down and put a stop to it. Or are you going to put up with it for years to come? If they are laying a guilt trip on you now, it is only going to get worse with time. What about you moving out? Is that a solution? Get a small place for just you and your husband. Leave them behind. They obviously get money, they can drink. They can pay the rent. I don't really know what to tell you in how to cope with this situation. I don't know all the circumstances and how close you are or how much you are willing to do for family. You do know that when you buy them alcohol, you are enabling them. Do you see a counselor? You might want to to get some help with assertiveness in this situation. It is hard to tell somebody to leave, but surely there is somewhere that they could go. If it is effecting your wellbeing, you need to get them out of there.

Best wishes with this difficult situation.

Hugs, Karen

check with your local mental health centre for fee-sliding scale therapists in your area. hoping this helps. take care, jamie