How to cope when your best friend has a boyfriend

I guess that it would be your choice as to how you feel. Try not to get jealous. I know you probably feel hurt. Some would even feel betrayed. But we don't have control over what other people feel or do. Does your feelings for her go deeper, such as love? I mean I know you love her as a friend, but you said "too intimate". Which is cool, but I am wondering about how you actually feel. Do you feel hurt? Are you sad because maybe you wont see her as much? Are you angry and you become distant so you wont show it?

It is hard in relationships and friendships sometimes.

Do you feel that you are depressed? Or is she? Kind of sounds like you would be at this time.

I hope that you feel better.

Hugs, Karen

I think I understand. I didn't realize that she felt the way that you do. I thought maybe she met somebody and was falling in love. When I had a girlfriend who met some body, we kind of went our separate ways. She got pregnant and moved away. I had to find other things to do. I started college. This was oh so many years ago. Sometimes we have to move on with life. I am not sure if I have suggestions for this situation. Other than one day at a time. Keep communications open between the two of you. I am glad you are both working on a solution...

Have an awesome day today,,,

Hugs, Karen.,..

Anna,

I am just going to put it out there. Cuddling and caressing is not normal for to platonic girl friends.

From where I sit, you both need to look deep inside and decide what it is you feel about each other. Are you two exploring, replacing feeling until boys come along, or do you really care about each other and are afraid to discuss it?

There is no shame in what a person or persons actually feel about each other, it is healthier to be honest about who you are and what you feel than to suppress it.

Something to think about.

Peace
Trina

The one thing in life that doesn't change is that there will always be changes. Try to live in the moment instead of the future. She could fall in love with a guy, marry and have children. You never know what is going to happen. So what is going on now, may not always be. We should try to accept change gracefully. Go with the flow.

I hope that things work out for you...

Hugs, Karen...

Dear Trina,

I appreciate your thoughts and vivid experience, from heart!
1
I thank you both, Karen and Trina for being patient and advice me!

Peace and strength is what I need :)

Hugs,
A.

Hello everyone! I might be posting a little too late but i hope somebody's still here to listen and help me. I read all of the things in here and i could really relate to almost what everyone has to say. I'm quite relieved to know that what i'm feeling is normal and also there are others who feel the same way i do. Right now i think i feel quite depressed aNd i really want to get over this feeling quickly because i really feel bad everyday. Here's what happened, i have a best friend and i've grown so attached to her. It's like she is really a part of my daily life. We talk to each other everyday and always spend time together doing things that we love. And with that almost daily routine i got attached to her and her to me. Everything we do , we always do together. Along the time, we were telling each other that we would put friendship above boys, she told me that no matter what happens, she'll always choose me over any boy and that if there comes a time where a boy and me asked her to spend time, she would always pick me, that we want to enjoy our friendship first without distractions and that we'd never leave each other alone. In the sense that if one is still single the other should wait for the other.

But, here's what happened that's really making me feel depressed and sad now. Over the years, there have been some guys who have been trying to go out with me, i tried going out with them for a bit but i can feel that my best friend feels bad if i do, so i didn't go on with whatever those were because like as we've promised we won't leave each other for a while and get a boyfriend together so
No one feels bad. Then just one day, in a blink of an eye she told me that someone is trying to court and go out with her. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. Just all of a sudden she decides to give this guy a chance. What makes this harder is because everything is sudden and she's never had a boyfriend before.

Well, i know i should be happy for her and supporting her but i just can't. It feels like a huge part of me has been taken away. The sad is that it's only been a week, she's only known the guy for a week, but there have already been big changes. She now has no time for me (she always says no to me everytime i ask her to hang out after work, which before , she's always usually the one asking me to hang out ), she doesn't talk or message me anymore (she used to talk to me daily a week ago), and there already has been a lot of changes. I asked her if maybe she could. Still change her mind, that we'll just wait for love a little longer and if she couldnt leave me yet because i'm not ready yet.
But her answer was i'm selfish and i don't understand. I don't want to feel this way but i can't help it. What should i do? I feel that i'm about to lose my best friend soon. I cry almost everyday and i couldnt sleep or eat well. I feel really depressed and sad.

The thing that hurts me most is that when it was me who was given the chance to choose between a boy and her, i always chose her before, i didn't go into a relationship because i don't want to disappoint her, but now that it's her turn, i can feel like she doesn't care about me anymore and she doesnt give a darn to consider my feelings.

Thank you for your response Karen. I appreciate your honest opinion. It is truly an eye opener. I feel bad and hurt and It's hard to accept the truth (what you just said), but I know it's true and that's really how things should be. I know soon enough i'll be used to this and i'll get over this eventually. But, the hard part is now where i still don't know what to do. I mean, should I lay low and try to give her some time and space for the moment? Because everytime I ask her to hang out she makes excuses and if she responds to my texts she responds like she doesnt want to talk and she's busy ( we live in the same neighborhood, that's why we always see each other every day and go home together (now she always finds excuses for us not to see each other)). Honestly, before she's also like the one who wants to talk always. Should i just stop communicating for the moment and wait for her to initiate conversation or express interest in wanting to hang out again? I have been used to us hanging out and communicating everyday that it feels unusual if we don't. I know i need to grow up already and accept things as it is. But, this will take a bit of time to get used to.

Anyway, it is always better to hear something honest and enlightening from someone who isn't bias and doesn't know you personally.

Thank you Karen! :)

I honestly would give her a little space and see what happens. Find some new interests and get to know you. You are a good person, you are special and worthy. You will find much joy in life.

Take care of you. Do something good for you.

Hugs, Karen...

You are understanding. It is hard when we lose a friend to a guy. Especially when we are use to being with that friend everyday. I have had it happen. And frankly, I didn't have a choice but to get on with life so I went to college for a bit, it was the most fun ever. I learned a lot in many ways. I learned not to wait on people too. We have to have our own activities and dreams...... I think you will go far.

Hugs, Karen...

You can do it. I think someone posted that things will change and settle. She will be contacting you after the newness wears off. It is all new and exciting to her right now, but that only lasts so long.

Hang in there Nitz...

Hugs, Karen...

Hey Nitz,

If this thread gets locked it will be because it has reached 100 posts. But we have the other thread that you started to talk on if you need. I hope that today is a good day for you.

Hugs, Karen...