an outsider?

hey everyone i know this is gonna b long buutt oh weell. anyway last august i started highschool. in gradeschool i had never had been popular or anything but ppl liked me and i mean i got invited places. i was normal i guess. then i started highschool and i wanted to branch off a little from my gradeschool friends. but i did not want to ditch them or leave them or anything. anyway i meant a new friend and we instantly became bffs. but i noticed my other friends wer getting pissy and jealous with me. and i told my new friend and she convinced me to drop them and start all over with new friends. and i did. after that everything seemed great, i had lots of friends, many bfs, and i was happy. but then my bff turned against me and started rumors about me. one rumor got so bad a girl stabbed me with an xacto knife (its sorta like a scapel, and its used in art) anyway after that i completely cut off all connections with that girl and concentrated on my other friends. again everything seemed fine and my ex-bff was just a bad memory. then out of now where my other friends slowly started to like me less and less and i had no idea wat i did (i still dont) and so i again tried to make more friends. im a horseback rider so i concentrated on my stable and riding friends. this seemed to b a good substitute and it still is. but now im feeling extremely alone at school i still sit with my old friends but im still the outsider in the group. im kind of lik that "fat friend" or something. i even talked to my old gradeschool friends to try and get on good grounds with them again but idk how that went :( now im just feeling unwanted and alone. the only reason i posted this is to ask for advice or if anyones gone through this b4 and just to talk to ppl.

Eventinggirl,

Welcome to HealingWell. I think that the reason that your old friends don't really want to be around you is because they feel like you ditched them. And I have to be honest and say that I don't know if they are going to trust you right away, if at all. I don't want to sound hurtful, but I am being honest. But don't worry, you are young, and you will have more friends. We really don't encounter a lot of people in life that we can consider true friends. Your true friends wouldn't want you to dump your old friends. They would be happy for you to have friends. So look at this as a lesson learned. Don't worry about popularity. This is your learning time. Now is when you want to get into school and learn what it is that you want to do in your life. Believe me you will make more friends. Some good, and maybe some not so good. But until then, you have us here.

I hope that you learned that to have a friend, you have to be a friend. And true friends don't tell you to ditch your other friends. Maybe this was a lesson for the good to teach you who your real friends are.

I hope that you feel better soon. And remember we aren't far away.

Hugs, Karen