trouble at home

I’m new to this so bare with me

My parents split up about 7 years ago (mom left dad) and I only recently have been having some trouble with it. I feel that it is due to me becoming older and learning more about their reasons for leaving each other but I feel as if my mother is leaving things out and that feel as if I’m stuck in between my two parents. I have been living with my mother most of the time and when she gets mad at my father about something she often says bad things about him to me. My father on the other hand does not. I feel as if my mother is saying these things to get me to take sides and I couldn’t do that. I have been trying to make sense of this whole thing and I have no clue what to think anyone and I don’t want to hurt either of my parents. my mother also often guilt’s me into feeling bad for her and I am only starting to realize this which further make me feel as if she has been lying to me or not telling me something. My mom and my older brother no longer speak for similar reasons. Advice would be much appreciated

this same thing is happening to me right now...my parents split 13 yrs ago. but to me it feels like it was just yesterday. i didnt get along with my mom after it because i was a huge daddys girl. but now since it has been so long i feel like more and more of the truth is coming out. i always asked them why they split and dad would say that mom cheated and my mom would say the same about my dad. i know snooping is not good but i looked through my moms stuff when i was younger and found pictures of her with other men. people that werent my dad. this made me cling to my father because i found proof that she was with other men and she could never give me evidence until as of late. so she was telling the truth. i have drifted from my dad because i now live an hour from him and he had a stroke and can not speak like the 60 yr old that he is. he talks like a 2 yr old so its hard on the phone and i have my own life so its hard to get out there. but i still keep in contact when i can and i got closer to my mom as of late. i guess you just have to let her know that you dont want to be put between the issue. dont take sides but at the same time dont feel bad for your mom until you do know the whole truth. its hard to put things in the past and i understand that. its just alot harder when you know the truth because then you have the proof of what really happened

My advice, although I'm 28 and my parents are still married, is to talk to your mom. Tell her it makes you uncomfortable when she bad-mouths your dad in front of you. Remind her that you're an innocent bystander in the situation and that you love both of your parents and you will not choose sides. Then, stick to it. You don't really need to know all the details and reasons for the split. Just that it's not your fault, and you should not be made to feel guilty about anything. Try to love your parents for the individual people they are and don't let their mistakes affect your happiness.

Why isn't your boyfriend working? He should be contributing to the household. Don't let him do this to you. Tell him to get a job.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Welcome to the forum.

Hugs, Karen