Really annoyed with myself

Amz24

Regular Member

Joined : Apr 2011

Posts : 64

Posted 7/26/2011 1:34 PM (GMT 0)

Hi all,
Sorry for all my posts recently, I just have alot on my mind at mo.

I don't know if anybody here has borderline personality disorder or knows about it. But it affects me quite bad.

I hate being on my own, I cannot go out on my own and even being home on my own makes me panic.

My husband is going away for a few days on thursday and I'm really nervous about being at home on my own. My husband doesn't really understand my mental problems.

I don't have anyone I would like to stay with or have them stay with me. I can't tell my husband I don't want him to go because it starts a big argument and when he leaves it's not nice having that hanging over our heads, plus he things I'm just doing it to annoy him, thinking he's not allowed any fun.

I am going to see the doc tomorrow to see if she can put me in touch with someone about my problems.

I just don't know how I can get myself out of this mess. I know it's hard on my husband, but I don't think he understands where I'm coming from.
We have had a conversation regarding my last post, but he said that if things don't change then he can't be with me anymore.

I thought marriage was in sickness and in health?!!

Sorry it's a long post, I just needed to get it off my chest...not that I feel any better

getting by
Forum Moderator

Joined : Sep 2007

Posts : 45296

Posted 7/26/2011 2:40 PM (GMT 0)

Try to think positive, I know, easier said than done. I think counseling would help you a lot. so I hope you are able to hook up with a counselor. Try not to be afraid to be alone. Pretend that you live alone and do this all the time. It helps. Kind of a mind game I guess. And learn to love yourself. That makes being alone so much easier. I am alone a lot and I like it. Have a few friends that I visit from time to time, but that is it. My husband is always on the go, I just dont' have the energy to keep up with him anymore. So at home I sit. But I am contented with it.

I hope that you start to feel better soon. Take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen

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