HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

how to cope?

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 9/18/2011 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
Really need someone to talk to right now, but I don't have anyone here. My family is completely unsupportive and don't care about me, and my therapist is out of town.

My father doesn't give a darn about me and is using me for his own purposes. I am essentially his slave. Started an alpaca farm several years ago, and he spent money that my grandfather had left to me to buy most of his herd. He use his position as my father to manipulate me into using my money. And I'm furious now that he did this to me, since it means I have no means to be able to escape him. And he sabotages my every effort to pursue what I want. I'm trying to finish college, which has been delayed by the stupid farm and having to take care of my father, and every time I make plans to become more proactive about finishing my degree, he sabotages me. I want to take a full course load next semester, but he's like "Oh but we have to do x, and y, and w, and don't you really want to do z? And there are shows we have to go to, too." I am his slave and he won't let me escape!

And I can't move out! I have no money, and I have some unknown rheumatologic condition which means I can't get a job since I never know how I'll feel on a given day. I could feel great, or I could be in so much pain I can't get out of bed. And I have animals here that I love that I cannot leave behind. I have 3 parrots and 2 ponies. Would be relatively easy to take the parrots with me, but not the ponies. They're both older and have health problems which means I really can't transport them.

I have a younger sister, but she's also completely unsupportive and a big part of the problem too. My mother was a complete waste of space, and hopefully she's dead. And my 2 friends are really busy right now and I don't want to bother them. And my therapist is on vacation, and I want to respect her need to take a break from work.

I do get depressed sometimes, but its because I'm so angry I can't escape my current situation. Basically an intensification of the anger I feel at being trapped and the hatred I feel towards my father and sister. And I have my first big exam this coming week, but I'm too angry to concentrate to study for it. And dissociating through watching tv or spending time on the computer isn't helpful. I just need someone to talk to, who cares about me.
Posted 9/18/2011 4:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

It sure sounds like you are in a tough situation. Are you sure that you can't work. I have fibromyalgia. I couldn't work for the longest time. Then I got it under control and was able to work a job. You are able to work on the farm. I think you should be able to work and earn some money of your own. I am sorry that your father misappropriated your funds. Legally maybe you could do something about it. Get an interest in the business or something. Does he make any money on it? I sure do hope so. What he did really wasn't right. But I don't know what else you can do about it other than take him to court.

It does sound like you feel trapped in this situation. I am sorry that your therapist is gone. But hopefully the members here can help you out. At least help you to feel a little better. I would have a serious talk with your father. Tell him what it is that you want. Find out if you should have some interest in the farm. Find out if it is making a profit. If you are working there, you should be paid for it. Do they pay for your college out of it? That would be a good thing. As long as it is going towards your best interest. I don't know how much money you are talking about. So it is hard to access what should be rightfully yours.

I hope that things work out for you so that you can be happy. What are you taking in college? What is your interest? Keep up the good work in school. Don't miss your exams. Do what is right for you and what you love.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/18/2011 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
It kind of sounds like a waiting game to me. You just have to do your time, get your education and then run with it. I can see how it is hard for you at this time. Maybe some meditation would help you to gain patience in this circumstance. Have you heard about adderall? I take it for fatigue that I get from fibromyalgia. It really helps. It might help you too. Just a thought.

I hope that things work out for you and that you can make it how ever long it takes for you to be able to do your thing. You have a lot of accomplishments and that is good. I hope that this continues. Just have patience. And persistance. Wtih school. You have come a long way. No sense in letting this interfere. Do what you have to do to get your degree.

Keep trying.

Hugs, Karen
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply