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Posted 10/24/2011 4:07 PM (GMT 0)
I was happy to make it to my speech consultation today.  She is setting up some sessions that hopefully my insurance will cover.  I have been dealing with bouts of depression all of my adult life which affects my speech and memory.  I have a college degree so I know I'm intellegent just all right brained.  I'm hoping the speech therapy will help with recall and paraphasing when it seems so overwhelming.  Its funny what happens to your brain when the depression hits.  I need to do some of these things for myself so I can get my confidence back and help my son who is mildly autistic.  High functioning but it seems like I have to teach him everything from social skills to keeping himself organized. 

There are parts of the day that I'm feeling better then I feel crappy again.  I think its more of my expectations of what I should be doing to keep up with the house and all that.  Trying to do a little at a time.  Looking for some joy in each day.

thanks for listening.

cookie

Posted 10/24/2011 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
It is good that you aren't pressuring yourself to do more. Do what you can and leave it at that. Looking for some joy in each day is good too. Even if it is something small. We can find it if we look.

I am sorry to hear your son is autistic. But he has the best mom that anybody could ask for. I am sure it is challenging in itself. But keep having patience with yourself and him. You sound like a very good mother. Life offers us many bumps in the road, but it smoothes out as we go. Just as long as we keep trying and you are doing that. Take life as it comes, and go with the flow. Slow but sure wins the race.

You are a good person cookie and I am for one glad that you have joined us.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/24/2011 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hey cookie
I am enjoying your input here. you certainly have some struggles ahead of you. As far as the house goes, lower your expectations-lol....like I've said before who wants this on their gravestone "She kept a spotless house" Your son is lucky to have such a dedicated mom, but it must seem overwhelming when you're fighting yr own demons..now I know why you hesitate to hospitalize yrself, my husband too gets very mean and angry when I am gone...he says"I don't understand what is wrong" lol never will

Glad you went to speech appt. Is that related to your meds? When I was on Seroquel high doses, I could not get out a single word. Anyway, welcome again...keep posting-we get it!!!

Maggie
Posted 10/24/2011 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
thanks. I have to remind myself that I love my son with all of my heart and he knows it. He is very high functioning and loves to talk about military stuff and history. Not subjects that I have a lot of knwledge about so getting him to talk to me is difficult. He loves to goof around with dad of course. Its so hard with boys. Girls seem to just tell you about their day and he just turned 13 which makes it even more difficult.
He has a lot of support but being his mom you always worry if you are doing the right things. I'm trying to remind myself to try to find a way to have fun with him like I used to do when he was little. We did all kinds of creative things. It was great. Now its time to find things I can relate to him about. He's a great kid.

The speech stuff is due to a language based learning disability which is exaserbated when I'm depressed. Really makes communicating difficult. I live in an area where people are very bright and very verbal. Loving ourselves for who we are is such a difficult task sometimes but I'm working on it.

I really look forward to connecting with all of you. I'm a good person and need to get back to living my life.

thanks so much.
cookie
Posted 10/24/2011 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
we women are verbal creatures, aren't we? It must be so frustrating to have difficulty getting your ideas across And makes you self-concious too-we all want to fit in.

Sounds like you live in a fairly affluent area and (I grew up w/ money-none now-lol) rich people can be very cliquey, snobby and plasatic. But I'm sure you can find a few good friends there. I had a friend who had speech disabu=ility and I'm hyper and I had to learn to slow down and let her get it out , instead of me finishing her sentences-lol! Very annoying habit of mine!!!
My 15 tr old daughter was just dxd w/ depression and adhd...it stunned me, she made honor roll almost all the time and I pushed her really hard on academics. The school here sucks, so I pick up slack on art, music other cultures etc. I remember when it was so easy to be w/ her, like you and your son, but at this age, they are just prickly and growing away from us, as they must do. Sometimes just watching a movie or playing a video game is quality time...I remember every time my Dad made time for JUST ME!!!

We love them and do the best we can-anymore is luck, fate, genes, God or all of the above.

Yes, you are a good person and I like you too

Maggie
Posted 10/24/2011 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
yes Maggie, this is an affluent area. We are comfortable but very down to earth. I have a few friends but since my son has gone out of district due to his difficulties its getting harder and harder to stay connected to these moms. I'm trying to find ways of meeting other moms who understand how hard it is to raise this young man but also stay connected.
I let him show me how to use his air soft gun today. Not what I wanted to do but he was excited that I was interested.

thanks for your support.
cookie
Posted 10/27/2011 11:23 AM (GMT 0)
go young man!!! from the mere male!!!!! jamie :-)
Posted 10/27/2011 11:25 AM (GMT 0)
keep up the good work cookie. :-) jamie
Posted 10/28/2011 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Good for you cookie. Trying to be a good mom and deal with depression is very hard. I watched my son play some of his video game and he was so excited. What I really wanted to do was lie on the bed and cry. Keep it up. Listening to you and Maggie talk about what you are doing with your children encourages me. My son has adhd and just started middle school. He's struggling a little bit with turning in homework. I help him every night. It has been hard since I was at a major low since before school started, but I want him to be successful. I have a meeting with his teachers next week to discuss accommodations in his 504 plan.

Keep sharing.
Posted 10/28/2011 11:48 AM (GMT 0)
Katie has 1 week of welbutrin in her`-I'm splitting mine because medicare wants Prior authorization which means several weeks til cleared. GGRR!!

cookie-you are an inspiration to me, you too stillme. When did you learn of your boys' disability (is it ok to use thst term?) Mine is so new altho she has probably been adhd for a long time, correct?
cookie, maybe you can hook up w/ moms at his new school-is it for learning disabled? It must be hard to find things in common w/ local moms when yours is special needs and the moms aren't sure what to say , y'know?

Stillme I too have been low recently and my daughter wants her permit, I have not gone to school to see guidance counselor or talk about adhd-whew overwhelming and the house and our obstacles.

WWell, I am so happy to connect with otherr women- thanks for sharing with me...it gives me hope to get thru another day

Maggie
Posted 10/28/2011 5:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Maggie,

Yes it is ok to call it a disability. I believe if I pushed it they would give him an IEP because it ADHD is a disability. He was diagnosed 3 years ago, however his kindergarten teacher mentioned it when he was 4. I just felt like he was still young and wanted see if it were just a maturity issue. In 4th grade I got him evaluated. He is adhd inattentive type. We did therapy for the remainder of the 4th grade year, but when I he didn't improve I got the medicine for him. He has shown a great deal of improvement. I was afraid to put him on the medication because of the side effects. So far so good.
Posted 10/28/2011 6:09 PM (GMT 0)
What med is he on? Katie has started on 150xl welbutrin for depression and adhd. I did not want to medicate my child, especially the stimulants because she has addictive problems on both sides of her family. But the welbutrin takes so long, if it takes too long I'm afraid she'll get discouraged. She is not too happy about talk therapy. Does your son see a counselor? I never thought she was adhd cause she had no behavior problems at school, As and Bs. Hard to handle at home, irritable and disrespectful, disorganized overwhelmed, exhausted headaches. She came to me to tell me s/t was wrong-observant mom, huh?
She is very pigheaded...I suggested we put a big calendar on her corkboard at her desk to write deadlines and appts..she would forget assignments all the time...nope...eat healthier, same sleep schedule She says"You can't force me!!' What force? She'll take the med but seems in denial that she may have to change the way she copes with frustration (volcano)
Well we just started, so I guess I better slow down...but this is new to me and her...I guess you make your way somehow..

Oh what is an IEP? I'm glad he is doing better...it is so hard to watch our children struggle...

Maggie
Posted 10/28/2011 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Maggie,

I have heard that people with adhd don't get the stimulant effect off of those kinds of meds, I don't know if that will ease your mind some about your daughter or not. Like my adderall. Somebody with adhd wouldn't get the energy I get off of it. But I don't know if they would still be addictive or not. Maybe if you read on it, you could find out or ask the doctor.

How are you today? How is your weather. The sun is out here today, but I am still feeling cold. Don't know if it is just me or not. I got my hair done today and went out with a wet head. I don't like to sit under the dryer, and I just get curls, so I just pick it out when I get home to make it look fuller. Yack, yack, that is all I seem to do.

Stillme,

I too am glad your son is doing better. It can be challanging, but you seem to handle things well.

Jamie,

I hope you are sleeping right now and feel rested when you get up.

You all have a great day!!!

Hugs, Karen

I almost forgot who started the thread cookie.  I hope you are having a good day as well...

Posted 10/28/2011 7:30 PM (GMT 0)
You would still be dependent on it and in an addictive family, that is addiction. You would suffer some withdrawal, depending on the dose and would crave more. I've always thought that addiction and dependent is just semantics...I think of dependent as legal, prescribed addiction. Have you ever run out of pain pills and felt sick? I'm sorry-addiction is a big issue at this house. If you meet my family, it's like going to an AA or NA meeting-lol!!! But they are fun..

Katie's school had a big assembly on meth, b/c like many rural areas there are alot of meth cooking going on, even with small children in the house or in the trunk of their car!! She said they were trying to "scare us straight" and I told her they are telling you the truth when they say "One hit and you're addicted"...she and her friends think marijuana is better than booze, and they are right in aa way. Booze is much more destructive and fatal than pot, but apot bust will ruin their lives...and can lead to harder drugs for those with a genetic predisposition to addiction...Katie also has an 85% chance of bipolar/major depression b/c both parents have mental health issues...I have seen friends die from drugs and alcohol, ruin families, finances, hurt so many, I will fight to make sure she is as drug free as possible. She already told me the adhd kids at school sell their meds!!!!!! It is a scary world for this generation..

Blather blather blather-you reALLY GOT ME GOING ON THAT ONE kAREN-lol!!

Glad you got hair done...we are cleaning for sis' visit, cold front coming in-kinda nippy

TTYL

Maggie
Posted 10/28/2011 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
Wow,

I know it is getting bad. I feel bad that it is in the schools so much. Both are bad for the young adults. Leads to nowhere fast. So sad.

I like when you blather, I yack... lol...

The fire whistle just went off and my dog is howling. I wanted to get a video of it, but my hubby has the camera in the truck. That always happens. You get a camera and still don't have it when you need it. lol... Lately when I go to take a pic of her she purposely moves and comes towards me so I can't get a photo. Brat... My girlfriend stopped over for a couple of minutes and she was right in her purse. Going after the hood on her jacket. She has to be the center of attention all the time.

My hair came out good. Curly. It will be good for a few months now until it grows out. I have naturally straight hair and I hate it. But if I had naturally curly hair, I would probably be straightening it. Never satisfied...

Addiction runs in my family too. I can't get into the discussion on drugs because we aren't suppose to talk about it on the forum. But I know where you are coming from. My family would be the same way if they were alive. Have had a lot of tragic events in the past.

I hope that you get all your stuff done for your sister coming. But pace yourself as much as you can so you don't go into a flare. I hope that you have a wonderful time with her. She is coming next week, is she not? It seems like you said that. I am sure you will have a lovely time with her. I hope so anyway. I don't see my sister much. She joined a mission. She has to stay there as she is in a program. They took her off all her meds, she has fibro too. I don't think that she is fairing too well with the adjustment. But we are all having faith that it works out well.

Anyhow, now that I have rambled on. I hope that this is still a good day for you. Try not to work too hard.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/28/2011 8:44 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, pretty good day...my husband pressurewashed the covered deck and we put the wicker out. Now they say rain for wed-sat oh well. She and I always giggle until we almost wet our pants and we get heavy into family issues that noone would talk about 30 years ago and now we can react as adults.

Yes, I wish my hair was curly too. My daughter has to thin hers out, she hates it and she hates being 5'10" (same as me but much more slender and pretty), she hates her boobs (small).I remember all of us in high school-the grass is always greener... I've finally accepted that I will never be thin w/ glorioous hair-lol it's ok

Our downtown is very historic, right on the Gulf, lots of galleries and little cafes, so we will do that, take a boat ride into the bayou and eat lots of cheap seafood, but no oysters, BP ruined those beds and lots of oystermen's livelihood-I hope all those kids get somewhere with their protests-if I was younger, I'd be there-lol Corporate greed has cost this country dearly..the 1% with all the power have taken over...I hope our children still have a shot at the American dream.

Yack blather and ramblin on

Maggie
Posted 10/28/2011 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
My son takes Vyvanse. He doesn't get the stimulant effect because thoses with adhd are missing chemicals which once they take it, levels them out. He is not in therapy any more but I think I will schedule an appt for him because middle school is such a tough time. I think he has a few concerns about adhd because he asked if a person can grow out of it and he asked if a 504 made him a special education student. A 504 is a set of accomodations to help students that don't qualify for special ed services.
Posted 10/28/2011 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
I think a person can grow out of adhd. I think it comes with time. Though I could be wrong, but my nephew was and eventually he didn't have to take the meds anymore. I am sure that it gets hard to explain to him about the situation wiith adhd. But make sure he knows that there are many students with it. Some don't get diagnosed. And that it is something he can't help.

I think you are right about the therapy. It will help him and if he is lacking any self esteem because of the adhd, that will help him too. You sound like a very good mother. I think you will be just fine. Take care.

Hugs, Karen

Maggie,

I am 5'8" tall. I use to want to be shorter. My sisters were. I have halves and one whole sister. But now I find that there are a lot of people taller than me. Make her stand proud of who she is. All of the models are tall. That is what I use to be told. lol... LIke I could ever be a model. Or could have been. But it is nothing to be self conscious about. There are people of all shapes and sizes and I bet your daughter is beautiful...

Have a good night,

Hugs, Karen

PS Two of my cousins are 5;10" and I have a niece that is over six foot.
Posted 10/29/2011 12:29 AM (GMT 0)
hi everyone. have a good one, jamie
Posted 10/29/2011 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
I was very happy to get to my son's school today for their harvest fest. I cancelled an appointment because I thought it would be the right thing to go. He has been feeling sad because he feels like he doesn't have any friends at school. A lot of staff that he was close to have left and a lot of kids he liked moved on to other schools. You can only attend until you are 13. Anyway, he was running around having fun doing activities and it was awesome to see him. He doesn't like group activities but he was joining in today. We played the best game with brooms and pumpkins. You had to sweep the pumpkin to the other end of the course and back. I laughed the whole time. And we talked about some fun times on the way home in the car which was really cool. He doesn't always like to talk to mom these days.

It was a good day!
cookie
Posted 10/29/2011 1:50 AM (GMT 0)
turn   turn turn turn turn jamie
Posted 10/29/2011 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
Yay cookie!!!

I am so happy for you!!!

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/29/2011 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
That's Great cookie!
Posted 10/29/2011 8:59 AM (GMT 0)
reading your post made me smile cause you 2 were together...you saw that precious baby boy again today laughing and runninr...good fr him participating...you were very proud of him...and we see them in such a different light when they are out in the world w/ their peers, we see their potential, their individuality, their promise...not that child whose problems overwhelm us at times, worry eating away at our gut, "Will they be ok? will they be happy?"...

I guess a mother always worries, but esp. when they have extra hurdles. Katie forgot med today and said she had a throbbing headache all day, so it's already getting into her system...there seems to be placebe effect, just the fact that she feels she is doing somthing about it, that we all are is making her feel better.

anyway, you're just full of good news and I am sooo happy for you...it is the little victories that make the difference one day at a time..

Maggie
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