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a touch of grief

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Posted 10/31/2011 9:01 AM (GMT 0)
a tad emotional tonight. we spoke of georgia in therapy today. am just missing her.

 

-jamie cry   ok, getting more emotional. but that is ok to. it is just hitting me now. oh my

 

baby, i miss you, even though we are never apart, i still miss you.

 

 

"ALWAYS WITH ME, ALWAYS WITH YOU"

 

OK, I AM VERY EMOTIONAL NOW. AM CRYING. cry

 

my sisters party (40th) would have been wonderful with my lady there. i knew georgia

 

wanted me to enjoy myself, so i did...........but you know what i mean.

 

 

luv you all jamie ♥♥♥♥

Posted 10/31/2011 9:38 AM (GMT 0)
Oh jamiee, making me cry...very bittersweet feelings...how somethingso wonderful can cause us so much pain..I'm glad you are talking about her and mourning only because you have to. And you are right, she wants you to be happy and I think you are really trying and that's all we can do. Her passing was not that long a go, was it? Even still...my heart goes out to you, and prayers

I am awake from physical pain right now, dam leg, see pain guy wed. can't wait!!!

Be gentle on yourself

Maggie
Posted 10/31/2011 9:49 AM (GMT 0)
thx maggie. sorry about ya pain. i am awake because i do not sleep!!!! georgia passed dec 2006.
Posted 10/31/2011 10:01 AM (GMT 0)
Seems like last week, doesn't it? Yeah, no sleep...I get about 5 hours a nite now and it adds to my already spacey nature-lol. My husband is bipolar also, but he is slow cycler. I was praying his manic phase would end b/c he is not on meds and now he is down and it is hard to watch him cry, he's always so up (too far up w/o meds). He has agreed to go back on meds in a week when he sees our Doc, but no counselor...jamiee he has terminal prostate cancer and it is in remission but it's coming back-they gave him 2 yrs 5yrs ago, but surgery did not get all of it and he won't talk about IT-lapsed irish catholic altar boy-lol...he needs a counselor...it is just so hard to see yr family struggling...I would give anything for my family to be well... I guess I felt that if I was hurting enough, maybe they would be spared but that is not the way the universe works.

How is it that some people just seem to lead such charmed and realtively painless lives? I know people who have never suffered any great adversity: no mental illness, no Katrina, no close deaths, no abuse and others seem to just get heaps of it... are we like drama-magnets or what? LOL!!!

Anyway, rambling on and sitting up has helped pain a little, so thanks as always for being there.

Luv ya back
Maggie
Posted 10/31/2011 10:09 AM (GMT 0)
geez maggie i hear ya sweetie. i hear ya. he certainly does need somebody to talk with about it.

sending much healing and compassionate love your way (to you all) maggie. always here 4 ya maggie. jamie
Posted 10/31/2011 10:24 AM (GMT 0)
thanks for that ...just nice to know someone hears me, especially you all...he is tougher than I thought.

Thanks for your compassion jamiee

Maggie
Posted 10/31/2011 10:28 AM (GMT 0)
he's a fighter. glad he is going back on his meds maggie. that will help a lot. and you are very much welcome my friend. feel like i known ya for ages!!!! that's an aussie compliment!!!! jamie
Posted 10/31/2011 10:31 AM (GMT 0)
Right back at ya. LOL
Maggie
Posted 10/31/2011 11:34 AM (GMT 0)
i am off to toss and turn. good -night, until later~ most likely, lol :-)
Posted 11/1/2011 9:15 AM (GMT 0)
today was not a good day. ~ jamie
Posted 11/1/2011 10:12 AM (GMT 0)
Uh-oh!! Tell me about it jamiee...sorry to hear that....what's up?

Maggie
Posted 11/1/2011 10:20 AM (GMT 0)
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr maggie!!! ulta depressed. sore guts, persistant diaareaoh. stayed in bed for a bit. been getting stuff done in the last few hours. no energy, foggy head, foggy thoughts and very fatiqued. had dinner 15 mins ago and it is 9.20pm!!! i did answer a few e-mails and loaned more money to my sis. she needed meds for an absesos of the tooth-i think. i am sore as well. my back is playing up-lombroscol spine and my feet. enough complaining. how are you maggie? luv jamie
Posted 11/1/2011 11:21 AM (GMT 0)
Not alot of sleep but...oh well. I'm sorry your stomach is acting up-hope that bug you had doesn't rear its' ugly head. Stay hydrated-can't be good on you diabetes either?

Abscess tooth-she really needs pain meds..I have my Mom's bad teeth and with no dental insurance, always wait til it is awful-she has my sympathies.

Easy to feel depressed when we don't get things done, isn't it? Don't beat yourself up take care of you!!!!!

As always, hope you sleep but I wouldn't count on it-what a pair of insomniacs!!!!

Luv ya
Maggie
Posted 11/1/2011 11:43 AM (GMT 0)
yep maggie!!!!!!!!!!!! what a pair of insomniacs alright!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thx mate. tomorrow is a new day. got caught up on stuff. going to lay down for a bit. will take meds later. no use in taking them when they have little to no effect. i am deeply tired, but this is standard, dosen't conjure sleep sadly, i wish it did. my neighbours bday thurs. will go and get her a card and something tomorrow. she is a top lady, we are good mates, she turns 63. her name is irene. okkies lye down time i am stuffed. luv ya, jamie
Posted 11/1/2011 12:02 PM (GMT 0)
Jamiee hope you feel better soon. Maggie and Jaimiee, I will send you some of the sleep I have. All I want to do is sleep. First, I couldn't sleep at all but now I can sleep forever, never want to get out of the bed. I really have to push myself. Perhaps its the weather change causing me to feel so down. It really seems as if I am back to square one. Hopefully some zzzzz's will come your way.
Posted 11/1/2011 12:15 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks stillme! It always seems to be one extreme or the other with depression/BP.

I will sleep better after pain doc gives me new meds. I was accustomed to taking seroquel, muscle relaxer and my Klonopin. I thought it was seroquel knocking me out, but it was combo of all...lol like knocking out a horse!!!

Yes, weather is big factor too. It is dark soo early in evening, I think it is bedtime at 6-lol...don't beat yourself up, depression is a roller coaster. Are your meds working right? Perhaps an adjustment.

Please send some zzzzzzzs our way..hope You feel better

Maggie
Posted 11/1/2011 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
thx stillme. hoping you feel better soon. must sleep soon!! lol, funny ha ha! will try am very, very tired. thx again. luv 2 ya, jamie
Posted 11/1/2011 12:53 PM (GMT 0)
LOL-like sarcasm there my friend....I can hear you snoring from here, eh?
Best wishes to you jamie and hope stillme, that you start sleeping less.

Bye y'all
maggie

ps starting cleaning for sis's visit thur-sat--can't wait, we are best of friends...
Posted 11/1/2011 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
I have to move all of the things out of my basement because I am having the floors done. Maybe you can get me motivated, knowing that I'm not the only one cleaning. I have no real desire to do it and I don't really feel excited about the project like I usually do. Oh well. Thanks for listening guys. (((((hugs)))))
Posted 11/2/2011 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
yeah got some zzzzzzzz's. a bit up n down but not bad. all the best stillme. ~ jamie. thx 4 your support guys, jamie
Posted 11/2/2011 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
Oh glad to hear it. Hubby and I got alot of cleaning done today for sis' visit. that feels good, hope I don't pay for it tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get my regular pain meds when I see new pain doc tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Stillme, I'm trying to do 6 months of housekeeeping in 2 days_LOLOL!! But it'll be neat and clean and we'll probably sit on the deck alot anyway.


Glad you got a decent laydown...it's ok to wake upp now and then, as long as you can get BACK to sleep. stillme sent a few zzzzzs after all.

katie had bad day at school. I'm going to go help her make her bed and give her the trazodone doc prescribed for sleep...never worked for me, but sheis young and uncorrupted so to speak.

Hope you have a lovely day jamiee and good night to stillme and the rest of the crew.

Take care Maggie
Posted 11/2/2011 4:30 AM (GMT 0)
thx maggie. hoping the trazadone works well 4 katie. all the best stillme and u all. jamie
Posted 11/2/2011 11:25 AM (GMT 0)
Katie woke up at 4, usually sleeps til 6-lol. Trazodone was a failure. She sleeps well, it's the first falling asleep part that takes her awhile. Thoughts swirling around, tomorrow worries, grades, boys allthat....teens today have their plates full

Oh well, another insomniac in the family-lol

Take care friend
Maggie
Posted 11/2/2011 11:33 AM (GMT 0)
sorry about the trazadone sweetie. i don't remember being a teen, but i do see it in others. busy busy.she will come good maggie, i can feel it in my bones. luv 2 all. jamie
Posted 11/2/2011 2:27 PM (GMT 0)
I CAN'T SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S NEW EH? LUCKILY THE SLEEP DR IS IN THE AFERNOON LOL.

~JAMIE
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