Had an awful day

Like the title says, I had a bad day at work. Overly stressful, too much going on, no one wanting to help. I'm the only manager there who seems to really care about anyone or anything. Due to all of the interviews and new hire orientations going on - and because no one wanted to help with any of it - I think I may not have processed our auto center's payroll by the noon deadline to be included in their next checks. It was a few minutes after 12, and the system is very strict as to whether it submits on time. Not sure if our time is exact with our payroll company's time. I feel awful about it, but it really couldn't be helped. They'll still get paid even if it was late, but it won't be until the following paycheck and that could cause a few problems with people relying on it for bills.

The worst part was when I did try asking for help, I was ignored and told to make all of the interviewees/new hires sit and wait, and then the store manager told me I should not having anyone waiting and was not happy about it. I practically had to beg another manager to do an interview just so I could try to get payroll done.

I lost complete control of my emotions and it took everything I had to not start bawling my eyes out in my office. I get very nervous when that happens because it is like a tidal wave and I can't control what I say. If someone would have walked in my office when I was like that I would have lost my nerve with them. I can't afford to lose my job over that.

What's even worse is that once I get that emotional, I stay like that for the whole day and the tiniest things make me want to start crying.

Does anyone else feel like lashing out to the point of not being able to control it when you're over-emotional? I'm considering talking to my doctor but I'm going to be on so many antibiotics and supplements soon, I'd hate to add even more medication. Also, the chest pain that I thought my current antibiotic had fixed came back today from the stress. I hate that job more than I can explain. And I strongly dislike my manager (severely under-qualified, unintelligent, treats people like trash...your basic run-of-the-mill boss).

So I needed to vent that

My fear is not being able to control myself. This is not new. A few years ago I ended up telling off my boss at an old job and walking out, obviously never to return. But that job was easily replaceable. This one is not. I hate that job everyday I am there, so the ill feelings are only becoming more difficult to control. I was considering if I *did* get fired for losing my cool after a situation the job created, perhaps I would qualify for unemployment until I found something else. That is somewhat comforting, but I'd prefer not to go that route. All I want (more like NEED right now) is to go back to school so I can be at least somewhat happy again.

It sounds just awful. I remember a job I had I grew to hate so much that icried every morning in the shower. My husband told me give notice, life is short. I did and took a lower payiing but less stressful job. I'd rather have my peace of mind than the check.

I don't know if that is an option for you or unemployment is good idea right now? My parents always said"the best place to look for a job is in your job-don't quit til you have another gig"

I'M so sorry it was so rough today. I hope evil boss monster stays away from you-lol Best of luck sweetheart

Maggie

The store manager is actually quite unprofessional himself, highly disrespectful and unrealistic and is friends with my direct manager - he's actually the reason my manager came to our store. Politics, ugh. In my company, the meanest, most disrespectful people seem to get the jobs because the company thinks they will just kick their stores' butts back into shape. And just today he hinted that our store might be going under - it is the largest, and also the worst in the district right now in all metrics (sales, credit, merchandising, etc.). And that's saying something, since most stores aren't doing well right now.

I've been looking for other jobs but I can't find anything even close to what I'm making (and I'm not making much). I have about $600 in college loans, a car payment, and some other bills each month and my pay covers it but leaves very little to save. Any job with lower pay will barely cover costs and I'd have an empty bank account.

I've thought about taking another job and just working 2 jobs, but retail is the only thing I have experience in, and I really don't like retail. I think it would be just as bad anywhere. But I don't think I can manage there much longer. Maybe after the holidays when all of the college kids go back to school there will be some opportunities somewhere.

The chest pain still hasn't subsided, and I've tried taking a nap and even watched the TV show "House" (my favorite). My throat also feels like it's swelling. I thought it was part of a sickness that I had, but could this be anxiety since everything is tensing up? I'll go post that in the anxiety forum and see what responses I get. I need to make a doctor appointment anyway, so I will bring it up then. Still see if they think it's costrochondritis. The throat swelling always accompanies the chest pain, and I don't think I mentioned that to him before.

Thanks for everyone's support.