Hi and sorry to have got it all wrong , I can see you are all very caring people and I apologise if I upset anybody . It was just so hard to post at all, as I have had a very bad response recently to my honesty about being crazy as I am now called . Before I told anybody the problems I had , I was just somebody they saw as a real good giggle, bit away with the fairies, but very amusing . The fact that I would disappear for a few months then reappear was just what I did. Having told people why I am the good time girl then gone for awhile has met with a bad response. Where I live you just dont admit to anybody not even family that you have mental health issues. Its seen as self indulgent and something you choose so just be a good girl & snap out of it " turn that frown upside down" . So when I found you guys who know it aint all that simple I just wanted so badly for you all to say hey there we get how much it takes to face this demon . So thank you for all your posts and I hope you all have a good day tomorrow xx