The "American Dream" seems more like the "American Nightmare" to me....

I think in the past I used to dream about being married and having kids, but lately I've felt like those things would be the ultimate nightmare. I don' t know if it has to do with me being depressed or possibly having other mood problems, but now I view relationships and marriage in such a negative light... I haven't been able to be in a relationship without the feeling of being "trapped" even if I love the person. I have visions of me being married and being so unhappy and not being able to be a good mom to my kids. Or my husband cheating on me. I've thought alot of times that maybe I should be in an
open relationship so there wouldn't be any such thing as cheating. Part of me still does think that it would be great if I could just be satisfied with normalcy and I think I would love being a mom. My fear is that I will never be content with myself and be able to have these things, even if I do want them...

Maybe I'm just not meant to have these things or have them in the traditional way, but it's harder to find an unconvetional way that's accepted...my current boyfriend would never consider having an open relatioinship and he doesn't really understand my ideas about fear of stability

Thank you, that's a good way to look at it. I know marriage isn't an all bad thing and plenty of people have been happy with it. It's something I have different views on because I haven't been happy with stable situations. I don't know why it is. I just hate the feeling of being in something that isn't easy to get out of if I'm unhappy. It's something I would maybe try though with the right person....

You don't have to get married to love somebody. Try living with them before you make a commitment. Often that piece of paper changes people. They think that they own eachother. When they don't. Do what feels right for you.

Hugs, Karen