Why!!!!!!!

So yesterday I stayed home from work. Felt too tired when I got up, so I took my son to the bus stop and came back home. My intentions were to do some cleaning. I did get the kitchen clean, even the refrigerator. Afterwards I took a nap then went to pick up the tv my son will be getting for Christmas. All in all I had a good day. One of my friends came over and we were going to get some dinner. We ended up bringing Chinese in. She said that I was down and bringing her down if I didn't get up. I had been on the computer and then just laid down from a second. She said it wasn't that, it is my whole being. I thought that was odd because like I said, I thought I was doing pretty good. I began working in my book recommended by psych and therapist. At the beginning I took depression, anxiety and relationship ratings. the depression and anxiety were still high. I guess feeling better from where I was is still not too good. The psych. did say she hadn't seen anyone quite so bad in a while. Lucky me.

That brings me to today. I feel worse than ever. Very teary driving to work. There were several times that I thought I should turn around and go home. Even no at my desk, I am on the verge of tears and will probably get up from here and go have a moment. My hands are trembling, my stomach feels nervous, I am so weak.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Welcome Meghan and what a thoughtful post
It is hard to wear that facade and sometimes the tears just bust thru...my sister said tears are a gift, which is true...we'd all blow up if we could not vent thru crying

I'm sorry stillme that you are having some bad times but it sounds like some good moments shining thru..I always pray they will outweigh my bad moments

Take care to both

Maggie

yes welcome. hugs stillme.


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jamie.

Saphire,

You shouldn't post your email on the open forum. Put it in your profile so only members can see it. This will get you a bunch of spam or some not so safe emailers. I am going to leave it for a little while for Stillme to get, but I am going to edit it in awhile for your safety.

Hugs, Karen

Thanks saphire. Edit it out karen.

Thank you Karen. I did find the delete button.

Good Evening all,

This evening turned out to be a little better. I went with a couple of friends to eat at Friendly's. It was good. My friends grandmother passed so we went there for a little cheer up. Hope tomorrow is better than today. My psych dr told me to take half of an Ativan in the morning. I am a little afraid to do this, because it does relax me and I go to sleep in about an hour. Can't go to sleep on the job, so I didn't take it. Then I felt so bad today I wish that I had. I will try it tomorrow and just take off if I start to feel too tired. Another problem is that I have to drive alot while at work. I teach students in their homes or at the hospital and have to drive all around from one to the other. Can't be all loopy while I am driving. Hmmm, not too sure.

Saphire I sent you an email.

Hugs to all. Wishing us all better days ahead.

I sometimes take my meds in stages. If the doc says to me to take half, I might actually take a quarter and then the other quarter two hours later. This is what I sometimes do if I am worried the affect on me will be to harsh during the day.

I am going to try a quater of a pill and see how that works. The lithium has my hands trembling. So its pretty tedious tryimg to use my phone to post. Lol

here for you, jamie

Hey stillme

I posted an answer and forgot the submit button-lol Anyway, I am just checking in and wishing you brighter days ahead

Keep us posted
Maggie

I am glad that it is coming along for you. One step at a time. You will get there. You are trying and that is what counts. This is probably just a bump in the road. You should be passing it soon.

Take care,

Have a good night.

Gentle hugs, Karen

So my ex and I had a couple of text conversations. I was feeling extra bad last week as you know. The last was Frisay night. Well last night was the first time since June that I didn't cry. I was on the verge but I wouldn't let it come. Today, a few tears so far.

I went to church and thought I was going to have to leave because the tears were very hard to hold back. I also felt a little anxious on the way????not to sure about that.

Just wanted to let you know that there was a glimmer of light in this raging storm.