MAJOR BLOWOUT

Like the coward I have been in the past, I let him slide after I wrote him a letter and he is alot more understanding, but there is no love here and I realized my life is not over and I can still be happy not just existing.

It may take awhile, I have to plan carefully and get somehelp from family...daughter is only home for 2 more years and I can move away from here...this place is so full of Katrina memories, it has been hard for me to break my depression cycle, but dtr wanted to stay in same school so...

I may just have to bide my time, get my ducks in a row and fly the coop when Katie does!!

I have made a promise to myself to walk and get in shape (75 lbs to go) and take care of myself-maybe I can work part -time

For someone in the throes of extreme depression, this seems overwhelming and I am scared to death I might fail and scare I might succeed...but I am determined that there is a better place out there with my name on it!!

Thanks for all the support
Maggie

Many years ago when my dtr was 3, he shoved me into a microwave stand and I went down. I told him if he ever lifted a hand to me again katie and I would be gone and he would never ever find us and he knew I could do it. That was the last time.

And I have to aadmit my mouth is my weapon and I, too have verbally abused him when I feel cornered...both said things that should never have been said....since my letter, he has been the man I married, funny, giving, helpful. My depression is hard on the whole family, we all know that...and I just thinks he gets so angry and sad that his wife is not what she used to be...and he feels alone because I isolate.

But last night in bed, I made a promise to myself that I would get out and walk and stay out of the bed and try to jump start my life again. And I walked, farther tomorrow and he said he was proud of me and that's all we really need is a little encouragement to keep going.

I AM going to have a life again and it is up to ME, and stop blaming everything else. Take responsibility for my recovery...I've been a member here for a long time and it's about dam time I start walking the walk and not just talkting the talk..

thanks to all of you for helping me make the transition from victim to victor

Love and prayers for us all

Maggie

DITTO!!!! You are my hero too xxoo mags

Sounds like a plan Maggie. That is the best thing you could do for yourself right now. I put lemon in my water, makes it easier to drink a lot of. And you are getting vite C too. You are on the right track. lol... Walking I mean... Keep pu the good work. It doesn't take long to start feeling good when you walk. Maybe Katie will go on some in the evening with you after school.

Bless you Maggie,

Hugs, Karen

She will most likely build muscle by working out. Which will put more wieght on her. I miss being tall and slender. I have shrunk an inch and gained many pounds in the last ten years. So she is lucky to be thin. I always was. Sounds like you have a beatutful daughter. Yay!!!

Hugs, Karen