Frustrated and alone

Hello,
I am a 25 year old female, generally perceived as relatively attractive, outgoing and confident but secretly battling my parents genes of depression, aggression and anxiety.

I recently started taking paroxetine for anxiety and depression. I have only come to terms with the fact that I may have been depressed my entire life, very recently. Initially I was excited and found that paroxetine made me a normal person. I am usually very easily annoyed, agitated and anxious about things and usually always release this on the people I love or want to be close to. The paroxetine calmed me perfectly, I stopped overthinking every little thing. However my sex life fell off the deep end.

As I have found reading these blogs and things, this is normal and there are various ways to treat the problem. My doctor added wellbutrin. The problem I have is that I am me and I over thought the situation, diagnosed myself what I thought best, and quit cold turkey my paroxetine. I have been through a week of hell, I never understood how people could consider hurting themselves but now I feel like such an emotional burden to my friends and family, I'm embarrassed to talk to anyone about the depression/feelings of hopelessness and insecurity that overwhelm me constantly as in a way I did this to myself. I have been insanely dizzy, to the point where watching tv makes me need to sit down, and I cry at everything (sob would be a better word). Luckily I think I felt the feelings fade yesterday, but that was a week of utter hell. Now that I am off the paroxetine, sexually I think I'm back to normal. However, reading some of these blogs and such has concerned me of becoming oversexed as the drug takes full effect. Also, I am back to my agitated hateful self. I'm working out multiple times a day to try to make it go away, which is helpful but not when I'm at work and may become an obsession as I go to the gym to avoid interacting with my world and burn off my anger.

I've been on wellbutrin and off paroxetine for only a week. I keep looking to see if this is common, that my anger/agitation/anxiety (previously present before the drugs) will be helped by wellbutrin over time or am I suffering for nothing and need to get on something else? I'm terrified of losing my job, my boyfriend, hurting my family or just plain getting shot by someone I yell at in public. Help! I feel crazy and out of control :(

I would appreciate it if someone could tell me if they went through anything like this and if so, will the drug start kicking in soon or should I just try something else? As a side note, I made an appointment with a therapist tomorrow.

Thank you, and yes I understand. What you are saying is exactly what my level headed side of my brain says when it has a voice loud enough to speak! Unfortunately being so confused and up and down, I tend to forget the sensible thoughts. Luckily the therapy appointment got made on a day where level headed me took control.

Thank you very much for your response, in fact it made me revisit the issue of the doctor that gave me the medicine. I got about 30 seconds with her and NO warning of what to expect, only to end up on the phone with insurance and 1800 numbers trying to find out how to get a therapist on my insurance. Speaking with these people when you already have anger issue and now are all doped up and confused is probably the worst thing for you! It took months to actually remain calm and get through to a doctor on my plan as my anxiety would peak at any resistance and I'd end up hanging up the phone. Wish I had been able to start out with a therapist who gave me the time of day, rather than start out alone and unaware of what I'd jumped into.

Thanks again!

Hi Testing,

It could take a little while for the wellbutrin to start working, I think that they should of tapered you off of the paxil. I had the same sexual side effects with this drug many years ago. I did quit it and went to effexor.

I think each day you will feel a little better. It takes drugs like this six to eight weeks to reach full potential. But you can start feeling better sooner. Which I hope is the case for you.

I am glad that you are seeing a therapist tomorrow. Therapy is so benificial to us. Keep posting and know that we care.

Hugs, Karen