I'm worried about my mother, advice appreciated

Hello,
My name is Mattie and 2 years ago my father died when I was 15. It's been a hard time for my entire family but slowly we've adjusted and have found a rather comfortable way to live. I still get sad about it, especially around certain dates, but in general I'd say I've done fairly well.

What I'm more worried about is my mother. After my father died, she began dating again after only 5 months. And she seems to gravitate toward demanding men who really don't seem like a good fit for a woman with children. She's currently been dating a guy for quite a few months, at least over half a year, and my brother and I really dislike him.

Well maybe dislike isn't the right word, we barely know the guy, and therein lies the problem. The man has a key to our house and clearly no interest in getting to know the family. When I try to talk to my mom about this, she gets angry and accuses me of 'trying to control her life' and thinks I'm just trying to break them up because I don't want to see her with anyone. But this isn't the case.

Just as an example I remember really liking this one guy she dated for a while. He was a father and knew how to act around kids, he really tried to make me and my brother feel integrated and show that we were a part of his and my mom's relationship. I liked that about him.

What I'm saying is that I don't mind my mom dating, but I'm afraid she's with this man because she's afraid to be alone. Since she's been dating she's never been single more than a month or two, and she's broken up with this guy twice already, and I know she's still using a dating website. I didn't think they have a good relationship and so I got worried, I've started talking to my friends and a few say this is likely her way of dealing with depression.

I wanted to ask if this sounds like that to anyone else and if I should ask her to go to therapy, and if I do, how to do it without her thinking I'm trying to be controlling. I don't like this man using my mother in her vulnerable state, and I want her to see that she can be happy without being romantically involved with someone so she'll know when she actually finds the right person.

Please help,
Mattie

Hi, Mattie, and welcome to the Depression Forum,

I think you're a very smart and mature young lady, and I'm certain that you mean well for your mother.

Your friends who advise that she may be in depression may be right, so counseling is the best way to go, in my opinion.

Take care of yourself; I really think you've got a lot on the ball.

It's Genetic