Depressed about friend in hospital

I have an online friend of ten years, that suddenly wound up in the hospital yesterday. While she has had health problems in the past. This seemingly 'came out of left field'. I looked at my Yahoo IM chat logs with her. Her health steadily got worse over the last week-and-a-half. Until she collapsed at work yesterday. She had a headache that got steadily worse as the days passed. She had gone into the local hospital and was only given a morphine drip to deal with the problem. I knew it would do no good, and just as I suspected, it didn't.

Her congenital health problems were taken care of long ago. But my congenital health issues can only be held 'in a holding pattern'. I wish it was me, instead of her that was deathly sick.

getting by said...
Hi Chris,

Sorry to hear about your friend. I have made some good online friends. I am happy for that. I have one who is dealing with her mom being ill and haven't heard from her for a few days. I really miss that right now. Oh well, I know she is okay, just busy.

Do you talk to your friend by phone, or just email? If you could call her and talk to her, it might make you feel better. I know how hard it is when we care so much. Take it one day at a time right now.

Hugs, Karen...

Even though she lives in the Province of Saskatchewan and I live just outside of Washington, D.C., we are able to talk on the 'phone' via Yahoo Messenger's VOIP technology in ver. 11.5.

I can't talk to her right now. Because she is in a trauma hospital and, I don't know which one she was life-flighted to.

Post Edited (Chris516) : 7/7/2012 7:38:31 PM (GMT-6)

getting by said...
Is there somebody in her family that you can get in touch with, or not? I know that it is hard when you feel helpless in a situation like this. But I am sure just as soon as she feels up to it, she will be getting ahold of you. Have faith that things are going to be okay for her. In the meantime, keep coming here and posting. It will help you to feel better and feel connected with something or somebody.

Hugs, Karen

I know of, her family members. But I don't know them personally. At present, all communication has to go through her fiance. But her fiance has to go through her mother.

The sad irony is, if she had an aneurysm that ruptured, she would indirectly be in the same boat as me. I have had a ventricular brain aneurysm since I was born 45yrs. ago.. Because a ruptured brain aneurysm would explain the massive headache she had. Several days ago, she accused me of using my health problems as a crutch. If she did have a ruptured brain aneurysm, I will have to remind myself to go easy on her when she is well enough to communicate. Because, Regardless of it being a ruptured brain aneurysm, or a brain hemmorhage, she will not be able to go back to work for some time and emotionally, it might feel like I want get even with her, for the remark she made about my using my health as a crutch.

When I had my six brain surgeries(all before 10yrs.-old), I was out of school, for several months after the surgery. Because, Brain surgery as far as the recovery(and the actual operation), is no where near as simple as say, putting a pin in someone's leg to help the bone.

Post Edited (Chris516) : 7/7/2012 6:45:42 PM (GMT-6)

getting by said...
I am sure that she wouldn't think of you as trying to get even just as sure as you are that you wont. Try not to hold what she said on a personal note, look at it objectively. It is just how things probably came across to her and only her opinion. You yourself only know if you use it as a crutch. I have seen many people go through many things on this forum. What you went through was a tremondous thing. But luckily you are still here to talk about it. I am sorry for what you have been through.

I can tell, no matter what your friend said, you are still good friends. That is good. Keep having faith that she is going to be okay. I hope that you are able to hear from her soon.

Have faith, and patience...

Hugs, Karen

She is a very 'nothing will stop me' type. I go beyond my disabilities in other ways. Even though I have three major health problems, I take more risks cycling on the road, than most non-disabled cyclists'. But where employment is concerned, I have a lot of hurt.

When I worked for the U.S. Gov't., in the early 1990's, I got a new supervisor, after four years, while still having the same office director. The new supervisor was cold-hearted and could care less about people's health limitations. Ten months after working with new supervisor, I quit because of the stress she was causing me. I had been applying for other jobs in the U.S. Gov't., but I was never contacted for an interview. This went on for three years

She basically says, if you are disabled and don't have a job, you aren't worth much.

Chris,

You could of maybe took that woman to court about your job. What she said to you was wrong. You probably could of got her job if you would of said something back in the 90's. Oh well... I am like you, I don't say anything when I should.

I hope your friend gets well soon and contacts you. It may have been a stroke or an aneuronism. I hope that you find out sooon. Do you pray? This would be the time to do that.

Take care, and keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen

I am sorry...

I hope that you hear something about your friend soon. Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen

I chatted with my friend's fiance. He told me, there has been no change, better or worse, in her condition.

Kittylhover said...
No news is good news, right? :)

I am trying to look at it that way. The biggest problem for her, is not specifically related to anything she might have that caused her to become unconscious.

She lives in Canada, where the doctor-patient ratio is not like that of the U.S.. In Canada, the ratio is something like 1-100 or 1-200. The U.S. is half that. Canadian medical care sounds more and more abysmal with everything I find out about it. What is happening to my friend, makes me glad I have never visited, let alone become sick in, Canada.

Her fiance is still feeling helpless, as am I.

Thank you

I hope she gets off of the respirator soon. Keep the faith friend... We are all praying for your friend.

Take care, keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen

Hopefully, She will have been seen by a neurologist this morning. Because a neurologist was supposed to be on the ICU unit an hour ago. I thought about IM'ing her fiance. But I am trying to give him some recuperation time.

I am glad that she is going to a better hospital. I hope that she gets good care and is feeling better soon. Take care...

Hugs, Karen

That is horrible that she wasn't seen for more than 48 hours. What kind of a hospital would do that??? Just hope for the best... That is all we can do at this point. Keep in touch with her fiance. I will keep her in my prayers...

Hugs, Karen