VERY DEPRESSED - HOW FAR DOES DEPRESSION TAKE YOU?

Hello,

I'm very depressed, everything is always grey around me. I always have a lump in the pit of my stomach. Does anyone know what to do to get rid of this horrible feeling? I live with severe physical pain everyday. I don't seem to get a break. Does praying help? I'm wondering if I'm praying properly. I have never in my life wanted anything so badly than to feel well, just give me one day without pain. I always feel so bad that I can't make it to my doctor's appointments sometimes, they only become another burden to me. Everything I do is an uphill battle. I have absolutely no energy. I'm completely drained. I'm starting to become very scared of life. Is this how it's always going to be? I'm beginning to wonder if things will ever change. I could barely hold myself up sometimes. My legs always hurt. Fibromyalgia is no joke. I must have a very severe case along with neurapathy and sciatica. I can't do things, and God knows I try so hard. I can't even do my job well anymore, I shouldn't even be working, but I need to keep my medical insurance. I barely make it through a 5 hour day. They have already cut some of my work hours, but I don't really care anymore. Can things ever get any better? A friend of my sisters just committed suicide a few weeks ago, he got tired of the pain. I somehow understand how bad he must have felt, I feel so bad for him. Me, I wouldn't go that far. I just have to face reality and try to do things or think of things that once made me happy. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help with any thoughts or suggestions. Take care, and thank you for listening.

Valentine

Hello Valentine, sorry to hear of your current struggle
Having depression and then having to deal with pain must be making it very hard for you. But remember, what you are going through is reversable and managable.

You need to contact your doctor, and tell him your situation, he will refer you to a therapist who will be able to help you and give you a perspective on things.

What you are going through is a speedbump, and now its time go to on the road to recovery. Depression is hard, but you need to stay strong, as hard as it is on the bad days. You need to have something to be able to get through a days work, your doctor will give you options.

Getting out of the house to work is a good thing for you. If you didn't get out, you would be deeper in depression. Stay strong and know there is always someone who cares and will be there and give you advice. Don't give up just because you may feel hopeless, its time to regain that hope.

Sincerlely, FL

Valentine

I too suffer from bouts of severe depression. I have a son with a life-threatening disorder as well. Recently my husband has been disabled as well. We are in what is supposed to be the peak productive middle years of life and all our friends and family are enjoying the fruits of their labors meanwhile we have struggled with serious medical issues over the last 7 years.
All the above suggestions are good. Especially the part about forcing yourself out to go to work. That interaction with people and holding onto the thread of self-support is so helpful for building gratitude.
I would like to address your question about praying. I do not know your religious inclinations, for me a couple things have helped.
First, since praying is about a relationship with God it is helpful to realize that depression affects our feelings about all our relationships. I do not "feel" the love of my family and and friends and it helps to remember that when I do not "feel" it with God that is a symptom of the depression. However, I am not seeking simply an emotional relationship with God, but a spiritual one. Right actions like praying will reap rewards whether I "feel" it or not.
Second, I do find set prayers and passages very helpful. When my mind is in a fog and desperate a memorized prayer gives me a mental ballast for the time of prayer.
Third, fellowship is extemely helpful. I belong to a church, but also a support group. Praying with others directs my thinking outside of myself and my own loneliness and pain.
Fourth, meditation is a very beneficial practice to learning to discipline our negative thinking. Learning to control our thinking instead of letting our thinking control us.
Fifth, do not deny your feelings of pain and loss. Pain hurts, suffering a chronic illness is a grief. Turn them over to God. Ask God he can take your circumstances and turn them into something good. For me, I learned to appreciate suffering Jesus on the Cross in a whole new dimension.