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Posted 9/8/2012 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
hi, my screen name is display.

i am not doing well today. just feel stuck sitting here playing solitaire on the computer. i do not feel like i can do anything else. i suppose i could read or watch tv. no one really to call, except i do have some phone numbers from my DBSA group i could try.

i got a dinner invitation, they are not sure if they are still having it because a few people couldn't come. i don't like the uncertainty. hopefully i will hear from them in the next couple of hours. if they are having it, i am feeling anxious about being able to get ready and go over there. i have gotten lost while driving a few times recently, it has really made me a bit paranoid over my ability to find things.

there are not really a lot of people in my support network who i can reach out to and be totally honest about how i am feeling.

well, i will go take a shower and clean up in a few minutes.

thanks for listening,
Posted 9/8/2012 7:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Display,

I get anxious with things like that too. I have to go to a birthday party for my two year old grandniece. I am lucky, I am bringing my girlfriend along and her daughter to go into the pool. It is a pool party. It sounds like with yours, you probably can't bring a friend along, can you? That makes it a lot easier.

I don't know why I get anxious when I have to do things, but I do. Sometimes I take a xanax to calm me down. Can you take something to relax you?

I guess I would gradually get ready just incase it happens. It isn't really a bad thing if it doesn't. You will feel good for getting dressed up. But yeah, the uncertainty of not knowing if it is even going to happen kind of sucks. But it isn't the end of the world, and it sounds like you do have the time to spare if it doesn't pan out. As you are playing solitaire anyway.

I understand how you feel. I have days like that. Days that I don't feel like doing anything. But the party will probably do you some good. Just getting out of the house helps. But if you decide not to go, and just to play games, don't beat yourself up over it. If you just feel like sitting around, do it. As long as you don't have something that you have to be doing instead. Allow yourself to do what you want for just one day. It takes the pressure and stress off.

If you go, I hope that you have a good time. Do let us know how it went.

Don't feel guilty for anything that you decide today. Give yourself a break...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/8/2012 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
thanks Karen for your post.

and especially about not feeling guilty. i have this judgment thing in my head - constantly judging myself. it is a harsh judging mechanism. i wish i could turn it off permanently, but trying to keep it turned down on daily basis is much more manageable.

i concentrate on doing my job search stuff during the week, and take the weekends off. unfortunately, there is a little voice always nagging at me to do more, even during the weekend.

posting here really helps me. it allows me to get some of what is going on in my head OUT, where i can look at it and decide if i need to pay attention to it.

i texted my friend and the dinner is on. i know i have gotten anxious before this type of event before, but went anyway and had a good time. that's what i will do this evening. besides, it is kind of fun to get a bit dressed up for a change and to go and do something different.

it will be a little bit spooky being out at night. i don't do that often. it is not a deep fear and it's probably best if i don't think about it too much.

thanks again!
Posted 9/8/2012 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
It is those little underlying feelings that I think get us the most. They kind of nag and dig at us. Take it one moment at a time. I hope that you have the most wonderful time... Let us know how it went.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/8/2012 9:36 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, they are automatic thoughts from our childhood. Things that people told us over and over again that we believe now.

So hard to replace them with the TRUTH and build our real thought processes.

We all go through it Display, you certainly are not alone, just remember they are only thoughts and can not hurt you. You can reprogram your brain to think differently. I know someone who uses sticky notes, she puts them on all her mirrors with truths about herself. It does seem to help her.

Have a good time tonight!

Stay strong.
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