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Why doesn't anyone care?

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Posted 10/21/2012 1:52 PM (GMT 0)
I am 16 years-old and I have bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety. The last 11 years haven't been the best. My mom's boyfriend/later on to be husband is a drug addict. He's went to jail pretty often and when he wasn't him and my mom were always fighting. I watched him choke her up against the wall when I was 13 and quite frequently I found needles in various places through the house. I also once found him O.D. in our bathroom when I was about 11. I have a issue with abandonment and trust because my biological father doesn't want me and every few years he'd come around and make me think he wanted me in his life then left. But my question is why doesn't anyone care? Why doesn't anyone love me? I know I am hard to handle at times but no matter what or how I feel other people come first. My mom has a few medical conditions and I help out as much as I can but when I don't do what she wants she screams at me and tells me I'm an ungrateful ***** who never helps. My cousin only likes me when he needs me as do my "friends".  I still haven't told my sister but I did tell my mom so she knew how serious it was at that point. She freaked out, not because I tried to myself but how. My uncle had himself and she was only concerned for how she would feel. I try to be as sweet, considerate, nice and polite as one can be but nobody ever seems to acknowledge it until I stop doing it. I have come to hate my house so much that I have the exact period of time until I'm 18 and can leave. I don't understand why nobody cares about me... Am I a bad person or do I just not deserve anyone to care?

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/21/2012 8:33:14 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/21/2012 2:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Missnowayit'sallgood,

Welcome to the depression forum. I have to edit your post due to forum rules, we aren't allowed to discuss suicide or self harm.

In life you will learn you don't always get praise, but people do notice when you don't do something you normally do. So don't rely on other people's praise to make you feel good. Know in your heart that you are doing the best you can and acknowledge that to yourself.

We can't look to other people to feel good either. We have to make ourselves feel good. Nobody can do that for us. No matter what. It is up to us to feel good about ourselves. It is nice to hear it though.

You aren't a bad person, and I know people care about you even if you don't hear it. I highly suggest counseling for you if you aren't already going. It will teach you how to feel good about yourself. It will get you on the right path for your future, that is what you should be thinking about at the age that you are. Think about going to college. You are a bright individual and it shows. I think you can feel better.

Keep posting and know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/21/2012 3:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you
Posted 10/21/2012 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Miss...

You can not look for a sane answer in an insane system. Like you I was in a household of abusers, I am now 51. So there is plenty of life and hope for you darling.

Talk to a councelor at school they will care, you need to be talking to someone and most likely seeing a doctor. [Medication is tricky at your age as it can cause bad thoughts but there might be some.] Most important is that you talk to someone and they validate your trauma. And they will. Guideance Councelor I think is going to be your best choice.

You are NOT a bad person. YOU are a good person in a BAD PLACE at the wrong time. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

Please reach out and talk to an adult at school, it is so important I know, I have been where you are. I had no one to tell me.

Stay strong keep posting we care and are here to listen and support you no matter what you choose.

Trina
Posted 10/22/2012 1:58 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you it means a lot that you've read this and are trying to help so again thank you.
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