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I'm not feeling so good at the moment

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Posted 10/22/2012 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone.  I apologize as I have not been much of a poster for awhile now.  Just one here or there.  I've been in hibernation mode..just haven't felt right.  Tonight I'm feeling quite badly.  For some reason I haven't been good at taking my meds lately (I've been on them at changing doses and types for over 10 years now) and I haven't seen my therapist in over 7 months as I don't have the funds to.       

Anyway....I have been having some intense feelings all evening that I just can't get out of my mind.  Everything just seems to hurt so bad emotionally. 

I don't expect much in replies but I felt like I just needed to at least acknowledge it.  I just feel so alone.

Cass

 

Posted 10/22/2012 7:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cassandra, sorry to hear you're having a rough night. It sounds like you should take your meds as prescribed. Why did you stop taking them regularly?
Posted 10/22/2012 12:31 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Kaely,

Do take medications as prescribed. I am sorry that you aren't feeling well. I hope that it gets better soon. Keep posting and know that we all care...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/22/2012 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cassandra,

I hope you have feeling a little brighter today.

Medications are important! How can you stay stable without them? Please try to stay regular with them, it will help so much.
Call your doctor today if you are not better, let them know what has been going on, they can help.

Trina
Posted 10/22/2012 9:32 PM (GMT 0)

Hi All.  Thanks so much for replying.  The reason why I have been so sporadic with my meds is actually due to physical medical issues.  This summer I was diagnosed with GERD.

I cannot afford my GERD medicine (and yes this is despite using my NeedyMeds.org card and applying for help with the company) and if I take the depression meds on an empty stomach it sets off the burning.  I am also picking with what I eat so I do not set it off.  So by the time I usually eat in the morning it is mid-morning at work and I actually forget to take the depression meds.

Also, my anxiety is peaking quite high with a very strong possibility of losing hours at work in a few weeks and my increasing bills.  So anyway, I called my therapist about an hour ago and made an appt. for next Monday.  She will let me pay $20.00 a week to pay it off.  She is also going to try to call me for about 10 mts. tomorrow as all these feelings are making me feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't think I can wait a whole week to talk to her.

So thanks for listening.  I guess I'm just scared with myself at the moment.

Cass

Posted 10/22/2012 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there Cass. One day at a time.

Trina
Posted 10/23/2012 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
You can still take your meds Cass, if it isn't close to your next dose. Do try to remember to take them. Good luck with the gerd. I know it isn't any fun...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/28/2012 3:42 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Everyone.  Well, so much for my therapist appointment on Monday.  I'm in the Northeast and our hurricane/storm should be hitting by then (her office is right near the water too).  This really stinks!!

Anyway, good luck to anyone else in it's path.  I lost power this same time last year too due to a freak snow storm.  Let's pray this one isn't as bad.

Cass

Posted 10/28/2012 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Cass

Sorry to hear about your slump-I stopped posting also and have just come back. I empathize and will add you to my prayers.

PLEASE PLEASE be careful with sandy...expect it to be worse than you imagine...fill your bathtubs and containers with water, get any cash (we had $60 when Katrina hit-lol) and gas, PBJ and tuna etc. Stay safe-my family is praying for all of you.

Love Mags
Posted 10/28/2012 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cass, I'm new to several forums, go figure..any-who, I'm sorry to hear about the speed bumps in your treatment plan, I hope you can get back on track with the meds, therapy soon after the storm?

Try to keep it together in the mean time, hey...You could use the Storm;"SANDY" as a Distraction right now? Ya, that will give your head something else to think about?

If that doesn't work, than : "STROKE THE FLUFFY FURRY WALL!" >>FROM:"Get him to the Greek" Lol
Posted 10/28/2012 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
KOVERTKATIE here again. Just a note of my Mental Challenges:

1)depression
2)anxiety
3)PTSD
4)Insomnia

Medications:

1)celexa 40mg
2)prilosec 40mg
3)clonazepam 2mg.3xs daily
4)seroquel 150-XR
5)Ambien 10mg
6)Ambien .5mg
Posted 10/28/2012 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Katie and Maggie:

Katie:  It's nice to meet you and welcome to the forum!

Maggie, I'm glad that you're back too.  I always enjoyed reading your posts.  (I'm sorry I didn't post that often.)  I know that you are a Katrina survivor so I appreciate your advice and thoughtfulness.  I cannot even imagine the horrors you have been through.....So keeping that in mind,  I thought of everything you mentioned except the cash...but that's running low now that I had to prepare for the storm anyway. 

We have LOTS and LOTS of peanut butter (which my younger daughter hates but I guess she'll eat it if she gets hungry enough) and other canned/wrapped items too.  We are also on a well so tonight I am going to fill about 4 large rubber maid containers with water (and our bathtub) so we will be able to flush toilets.  At this point we're all assuming we will lose electricity...it's just a matter of when.  The state of CT has declared a state of emergency so schools have already been closed for Monday and Tuesday.

So yes, I guess this is keeping my mind off the depression for now.  I'm much better when I have the internet and I can read and post.  Hopefully, I'll be okay when the electricity goes out.

Thanks for your thoughtful comments.

Cass

 

Posted 10/28/2012 6:49 PM (GMT 0)
Cass,

use your mindful breathing during this storm crisis, slow breath in , slow breath out. Smell the roses blow out the candle.

Not literally, then you will be in the dark lol, just kidding. :-)

Try to stay present during the next few days, play board games with your children, let them draw etc.

Keep things simple and you will be ok!

Stay strong and safe

Trina
Posted 10/28/2012 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Cass

Nothing like a horrendous storm to bring things into proper perspective-lol.

Anyway, remember we are praying for you all and check in when power comes back on, and I hope that is the worst of it.

Get out coloring books, old photos, magazines, books games and cards. Kids get stir crazy.

Take care
Mags
Posted 10/28/2012 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
Cass,

Know that we are all thinking of you now. Keep checking in and letting us know how you are doing...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/28/2012 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen and Maggie.  You know even my kids have noticed this and I do realize it myself.  I have become totally obsessed and stressed out waiting for this storm.  Last year we had a really tough time of it because we were in our house and isolated from neighbors.  We saw lots of trees come down in front of us but we we were luckily okay.

This Nov. 15th will be a year that I'm in a condo now.  I'm trying to logically rationalize this.  There are no trees near us that are big enough to come down and cause any damage.  That was my greatest fear.  Loss of electricity is a pain but do-able.  But I am totally stressed about it.

I don't know.  I need a good kick in the butt here to calm down.  I guess I'll try some of the breathing and mindfulness that you're talking about.  I know we are physically safer and I have neighbors on the other side of the wall.  I guess I just need to toughen up.  I know there are worst things going on out there, such as Kitt and her illness, and she is often on my mind.

Thanks again for "listening" to my vent.

Cass

 

Posted 10/28/2012 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
Cass, it is perfectly normal to be stressed out from the storm. I hope that you don't lose power though. That is tough, but like you said, doable.

Know that we all are thinking of you and wish you the best. Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/29/2012 1:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Guys!

Being my faithful alarm clock, my dog woke me up promptly at 8:00 am this morning.  Believe it or not, but I am so.... much calmer than yesterday.  All my water is filled.  And I am still doing a ton of laundry and cleaning.  It needs to be done and not having power to do it over the next few days has been a HUGE incentive.

Winds are definiately picking up outside, but I am good.  My kids are still asleep and I'm getting a lot done.  Thanks for all being so supportive.  And my thoughts and prayers to the people in New York who are especially predicted to get hit the hardest.

Cass

Posted 10/29/2012 3:01 PM (GMT 0)
Cass,

so glad to hear you are feeling better!

Trina
Posted 10/29/2012 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hey girl

Mags here. After Katrina in '05, we go on hyper-alert when the wind gets above 5 mph-LOL.

My hubby is watching Weather Channel like we are getting it-poor baby loves drama.

I am glad you calmed down AND doing laundry...yes, kids pick up on our mood, so try to keep it reassuring and distract them (turn off tv for awhile, maybe)

It sounds like you are in a safe place and now you have done what you can..that is enough for now.

Put on some music or a movie and pop some popcorn while ya can.

Take care
Mags
Posted 10/29/2012 5:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mags...

Your hubby sounds like a typical guy glued to the weather channel.  Luckily, my kids are older (13 and 17).  I have 2 daughters.  Until about an hour ago my 17 year old was making fun of me for all the preparations.  However, I just gave her, her flashlight because our lights are starting to flicker.   She didn't complain when I gave it to her so I think she realizes she's wrong yeah .

My 13 year old is calmly reading a book on Kindle that I bought for her last night in preparation for this.  And I'm still fiddling on the computer while cleaning and still doing laundry.

All in all, I'm good rt now.  And I can honestly understand why winds over 5mph would freak you out.

Hope to talk to you later.

Cass

Posted 10/29/2012 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for posting Cass. We are all right here with you... I am glad too that you are doing well.

Hugs, Karen

Freezing here today!
Posted 10/29/2012 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cass -

I am also in the path of the storm. It is probably going to hit our area in a few hours. I'm fortunate because we live on top of a hill and we were able to get a lot of supplies in the very likely event we lose power. But the the grey weather, and all the talk and work involved in preparing for the storm has my mood down too. While I still have power I am trying a new bread recipe. I hope it is good.

Take care and be safe!

Hope
Posted 10/30/2012 2:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Cass

Hope you and the girls are ok...my fam in Vt said they were good, but sis is in NYC and I'm sure there are power outages.

Take care
Mags
Posted 10/31/2012 1:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Hope4:  Welcome to HW and I hope you survived the storm well, too.  Our power was restored about 1.5 hours ago (8:00 pm).  What a relief!!  For me, this storm was much easier than last year.  My condo and all the other condos are on a well so I assumed we would lose water like I did when I was in my own home last year.  We didn't!  There is always a reserve and until that runs out you are fine.  And our electricity came on before we ran out.  No hot water, but no toilet worries!

Also, I am a middle unit, so I didn't feel all the shaking and hear the branches and trees like my neighbor did.  So I think my worrying was about 10X worst than what actually happened.  I hope your recipe turned out okay and that you are fine too.

Cass

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