Hello,
First post here. I live in the middle east, abu dhabi and have been here nearly 5 years. In that time due to the GFC and Dubai crash etc I have had 5 jobs not one of the changes has been my fault or choice. Last year I thought I had a stable job that was very well paid. I proposed to my now fiancee in New york, top of the Rock :) Have had a great year and even though in July this year there was a mangment takeover of the company I have been blessed with confidence that all would be fine.
I went away to the olympics to london and thankfully had two job offers just had to make the choice, both similar pay (although significantly less than the last). I treid to make a desicsion whilst away and could not. Returned and still could not make the desicsion. I ended up taking one of them then instantly regretted it. I worte to the company I turned down telling them I had made a mistake, I also told a mentor of mine in the company that I really wanted the job back. I got a response that the job was filled, so I got stuck into the othere job and started to accept the situation.
Then during a meeting I got a txt, did I want the other job??? Yes was my imediate answer. But then total uncertainty hit me and wanted to start comparing again and I could not make up my mind and was finding resasons for against both. I finally resigned for the job I was in a signed a contract with the job I had first turned down.
I had to give 7 days notice and felt really guilty about leaving the first and felt scared about joining the other company even though I knew it was for the best. I got a in a total spin and after a massive panic attack turned down the second job, again!
Since then I have been having panic attacks most days. I have been diagnoised with severe depression and GAD. given Cipralex and Xanex.
I hate the job I am in and feel my reputation is in tatters with the other company which is a major player.
My Finacee has a two year plan, which before these events I was so keen to carry out, wedding next year, some more saving the following year then 6months travel. But now I just want to hide every morning because I am not sleeping and hate going to work. So worried this is going to destroy everything.
Worst of all I dont feel like I can spend the money on the wedding I have promised my Finacee. so uncertain where this will end but feels very destructive and out of control.
Just like thoughts from people who have been through the same based on career. I know I should count myself lucky to have a job but its causing absolute termoil for me???