Friendship Lost...Friendship Found

          this post was inspired by chelsi thank you for helpin me to release it

    i have lost a friend of 30 yrs recently not to do with any arguement on his or my part but by a third party that has been jealous of our friendship since i introduced them. he was away in the national guard for a 1 year tour and now i havent heard from him in months an hes been back awhile.

     awhile before he was to come home i recieved an I.M. from him telling me he wouldnt be on I.M till he got home, and that i should ask his wife when that would be. so i tryed to call her for several weeks 4 or 5 times a day and she didnt answer the phone. at that point i knew somethin was up. a couple of weeks after the best estimate i could get when he would be home i saw them walkin together with thier kids 2 streets over from where i live. i made eye contact with his wife he didnt even see me and i knew instantly that my suspiscions were true. sometimes you have to let go so i let them go without a word

      i have been hurting from this loss.the past week and a half was the worst.i miss him alot we were better than best friends better than brothers we shared everything for 30 years (i am 37 next month)he was my best man at my wedding and i at his.i know i want to contact him and i know i shouldnt because he was gone from his family for a year and they need time.however it would only take a phone call just 1 min instead its been 3 monthes and nothin.he has to know its tearin me up inside but he has chosen to avoid me.however i have found friends here that are better they dont gossip they dont belittle and they dont turn away when i need them most.i look to new friendships both here and in my immediate area and i have become stronger.....with luck and time i hope he returns

      i would like to apologize to all my chat friends for my being so silent and distracted especially the ones that knew something was up with me and im thankful for the friendship and patience

           "its a share thing sometimes more sometimes less but always  balances out"

        mabye more later

                                          thanks again chelsi

Hey there. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. And I am happy that I also know what has been bothering you and you never have to appologize. But I do know how you feel. All of my friends but one have stopped talking to me even if they see me when I go out they just turn there head and act as if they never knew me. But I know how it makes you feel. I am happy though that you have made so many friends here in chat and in the forum. All you do is help people you do not judge and you do not criticize. You are an amazing person. And I am grateful to have met you and become such good friends with. There should be more people in the world like yourself. You have helped me many times. But you are unlike anyone I have ever talked to and I will never stop talking to you. I will always be here for you whenever you need to talk or anything. Just remember that you have many friends here and that you could never make anyone stop talking to you. Because of what a great person you are. I hope to talk to you again soon. Take care. Hugs.

Your friend always, Ashley

I am really glad I could help you get your feelings out.  It looks like you have recieved alot of good advice.

This has got to be really tearing you apart.  I know it would me.  You have been best friends for nearly your whole life and you have done nothing wrong.  I like the suggestion that you send him an email.  You might even suggest a lunch time together.  He may want to see you as much as you do him but maybe his wife wants to keep him to herself.  At least you have a clear conscience.  You have not done anything wrong.  I know that does not make it any easier because you do not know what is really going on.

I had lunch with my friend on Sat. but it was a very short lunch as she had to get back to her sons to babysit her granddaughter.  I could definatly feel the strain at lunch.  It was as if neither of us were comfortable.  I ended up sending her an ecard yesterday afternoon to apologize again.  I said that I would not contact her since she probably needed some time.  When I sent the ecard it said that I would be notified when it was picked up and it is 11pm Monday night and I have not gotten anything saying it has been opened.  Now I wonder if she hasnt been on her email at home or if she has and has chosen not to open it and read it.  I told her Sat. that another friend of mine, which she knows was going to dinner with me on Thur.  She said she thought she could go.  That is fine except I cant call her since I am giving her space.

But you have a chance.  Send him an email and suggest you get together sometime.  Don't let the friendship get away.  You have too much invested.

Please post back and let us know what happens.

Chelsi