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Feel like moving far away to start over

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Posted 12/24/2012 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi. I'm a 24 year old girl. I'm very depressed for a few reasons...

me and my ex broke up 3 months ago. Very sad over that, i am still in love with him and he was my bestfriend. I lost my job around the same time. I was fired. I started a new job that i love, but i just seem to screw up alot. & am scared im not gonna be able to keep this job. I've never been good at holding any jobs for over a year. I feel stupid. Little things i miss and it just effects my work performancce. I've done alot of drugs in my past, alot partying. & i feel it has definitely has taken a tole on my mind and im not smart. & at work i feel as if people get frusterated with me..  like they look at me like im a bimbo..

i have no money. i have bills and im barely making them every month. I have many friends but nobody that im super close to. most people have that one person that they are very close to and can go to for anything but i dont. i live at home with my parents and i fight alot with them. not close to them either.......

my ex text messages me the other day and says really nasty things like im materialistic and phoney and a bunch of unessesary mean things considering we dont talk anymore at all......

i honestly just feel like getting up and moving where i dont know anyone and starting over but i cant do that either cause im always so broke.. Ugh.. sad

i know people have it far more worse then i do. i still have healthy, family and people that do care but i just feel alone in the world and like im not ever gona get ahead

Posted 12/24/2012 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Carrxo,

You sure seem pretty down on yourself, and negative. But that can be changed. I think a lot of your problem at work is that you may not be paying attention to what you are doing. You need to be mindful. Take things one step at a time, and really pay attention to the task at hand. Slow down. See if that helps. I think that you really like your job a lot and I think you can keep it. Just make sure that when you are at work that that is all that you are focussing on. Try not to be so negative about the future, think positive and that might change the outcome of things.

Do you go to any counseling? I think it would help you to learn to focus and to cope. Life changes when we split up with somebody that we are in a relationship with. But there most likely will be somebody else in the future, but right now, I think focussing on keeping your job would be a step in the right direction.

Look up mindfulness on the internet. It teaches you a lot about living in the now. I think that there is a site called "mndfulness.org". I have seen it mentioned a lot and it sounds like a very good site.

There are others that do have it far worse than ourselves, but that doesn't make our issues any less significant. Work on keeping your job. If you are meant to start fresh somewhere else, you will know. But for now, take life one day at a time. Try to get your ducks in a row and move forward. You can do this. It just takes practice and determination.

Don't think of yourself as stupid or dumb. You are not. Keep the faith in yourself.

Take care and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/24/2012 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
Car,

Karen gave you some very good advice!

If you can not afford counseling, then find a support group for depression.

They are all over the place!

Mindfulness is great! It is one of the things that help keep your mind on the task at hand, not wandering all over the place. Helps you let go of the past and not worry about the future. You can enjoy the present! Learn to be proud of who you are now!

You are a good person or you would not have friends.

I would suggest taking your ex off your cell phone and blocking his number. Who needs such negative input in their life? You can control the positives and negatives to some degree. Set your boundries!

Stay Strong
Trina
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