hi I am desperate for relief

MY problem is that I hate my body. I had cosmetic surgery and it left scars on my thighs and I hate the way it looks so much that I have sunk into a deep depression. It is hard to wake up in the morning and face another day. I have not felt peace in almost two years. PLease if anyone can relate. Let me know. I am needing connecting and sharing with others as I feel so alone. I appreciate any replies and will write back. ~ Dede

Thank you for your reply Trina. I have been to counselors and psychiatrists... tried anti depressants. I keep sinking deeper... WHen I look in the mirror ...OMG I can't believe I have to live in this body. I have been told I have body dismorphia.. because I have let the dissatisfaction take over my life. I will look at the resources at the top of the page. I want so much to feel better.. to just feel OK in this skin. I can not see how that will ever be possible. I look at other people and if they are laughing and having fun... I feel so awful because I don't experience that any more and I am reminded. Also going through divorce, bankruptcy, mother with Alzheimers... family does not want to hear about my depression anymore, fell addicted to my boyfriend. I wish I could wake up and feel Ok. Thank you for your wise words. I will read them again. ~ Dede

Thank you Trina. I appreciate Thich Nhat Nhan. I have the Anger book.... I'll read it.

Hi Dede,

You evidently have a bad self image. I hope we can help you with that. The thing that you have to realize is we are not defined by our bodies. It is what is in our hearts that matters. You have to learn (in time) to forget about how you look. It is too important to you. Know that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Just because you don't like something about yourself, doesn't mean another person doesn't. Everybody is attracted to different things, and everybody has a different idea about what attracts them. So you are basically going by what you like, we all have different tastes. Don't let looks define who you are. Learn to love yourself for who you are. We are all unique in our own ways. And maybe the scars aren't as bad as you think that they are. I had a friend that had a birthmark around his eye. He got it removed and we didn't even notice. It was because we overlooked it, and didn't see it as a flaw. He was surprised that we didn't notice when it was gone. It only bothered him.

You have a lot of work to do. Keep up with the doctor's appointments and counseling. But don't be surprised if it all comes down to learning to think differently of yourself. And learning to see yourself differently. Keep working on it. Don't give up. We are here to try to help you.

Hugs, Karen