Posted 2/18/2013 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
I've haven't written on here in a long time. It's been 3 years since everything started, and things are getting a bit better.
3 years ago I was at my lowest, I was badly bullied for several years, was having trouble at home and felt so alone. I try not to think about it too much but sometimes it all gets too much for me, or something or someone will remind me of it all. It's hard.
Next year, the group that bullied me will be at the same college as me, and I don't know how things are going to go, it's only a small college so the chances of bumping into them are high. I don't know if they'll do anything, I don't know if they'll say anything, I'm worried. Events that have happened recently will also probably make them all hate me even more.
Things at home haven't improved much, still arguing all the time. I have no idea what I'm doing next year- applying to university, getting a job? I don't know, it's so much to think about.
Sometimes it gets all too much, and sometimes I can't help but think about how low I felt, and sometimes I feel like that still, not often, but still.
My new boyfriend is amazing, he makes me feel so much happier and knows about everything that went on. He doesn't judge me for it. He's always there for me and it makes me feel so much better now because of him.
I'm just scared for September, what if they start up again? And when will things get better at home, I hate being scared at home. I want to start feeling more self confident, and be happy with myself, it's just so hard.