Posted 3/4/2013 4:37 AM (GMT 0)
I still live with my mother and I'm in my early 20s actually all of my sisters are still living at home.
I graduated from cosmetology school, and this month I’m taking my written exam. Also I have a practical
To also worry about after hopefully passing the written exam, so this is a very stressful and emotional time for me especially since I have to pass both exams in order to get my license and start working.
My mother doesn't care, she is beyond insensitive about the whole thing and all I’m trying to do is get my life together in a legit way, her concern is going on vacations and out to dinner, but I’m so fed up with being bullied and belittled for no reason I rather not participate in such events. When I try to leave situations alone by isolating myself in my room, I’m told that I’m being a disrespectful, stupid, crazy, and ridiculous when in all reality I’m just giving people space. When dealing with my sisters especially my mother, I feel like they don’t like me so why associate with someone that you know doesn't like you.
I feel that I’m constantly underestimated I’m always laughed at and taken for granted. Anytime I ever try to voice my opinion to my mother no matter what subject it is, we could never agree to disagree, it always has to be an argument where she is sitting there swearing at me. She has gotten in my face numerous times screaming at me and threatening to punch and slapped me in my face and throw me out of a window and I've already been choked. I've been crying myself to bed a lot and she is the reason why I have horrible panic attacks. When I try to talk I’m never being understood, and it’s like the talks we do have does a 360 degrees affect and there is never a lesson being learned. She doesn't want to do counseling but yet she will be the same person to say we have communication problems.
All I ever wanted from my mother was consideration and respect just like I always give her. Instead of all the immature name calling and profanity (because I absolutely do not say those things to her) talk to me like a human being. I also feel that I’m entitled to feel upset or angry, and I feel when I have these emotions I shouldn't get attacked by my own family. With the weekend I had I just feel like giving up on everything, but I always pray for strength to get me through hard difficult times.
I just feel so low at this point; I mean I should be excited about this moment in my life.