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Posted 3/23/2013 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, my screen name is display.

I'm having a hard day. It's an effort to even write that. Don't know what to do with myself today. It is overcast and foggy outside. I was really counting on a warm sunny Saturday.

Did not sleep that well. The dogs were active and I just couldn't go back to sleep. That is a shame because Saturdays are one day I catch up on sleep. Perhaps I can take a nap this afternoon.

I need to do laundry today. That is depressing. Don't know why it just seems like such drudgery.

My mind keeps wandering to a place where I tell myself things are not going to get better. I have a hard time reaching out to people, and don't feel I have many friends. Or not anyone near who can help with my depression. There are people I can email that are supportive. And I get to a place where I hate Facebook where people only want to talk about positive things in their lives. No one ever writes "i am depressed" or "i hate my life right now".

When I am in this place, one of the things I keep thinking about is that the weekend is passing me by and before you know it, it will be 5 am Monday and I will have to go back to work.

Did I mention that I hate foggy weather in the mornings. It feels like I must wait hours for the sun to come out, and like the whole world is asleep, and it's pointless to try and get anything done.

I suppose it would be a good idea to go to a 12-step meeting (I'm in Al-Anon) but even that seems like too much of an effort. My car is really old and I'm constantly afraid something is going to go wrong with it, so I avoid driving.

I could yammer on and on in this vein, but I think you got my point by now. I HATE FEELING THIS WAY.

Love,
Posted 3/23/2013 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Display,

I sure hope you feel better soon. Sounds like you have hit a bump in the road. Try t make the 12 step meeting if you can. My car is old too. I know how it feels, but have faith that it will get you there. It has been a long winter. I can agree to that. We still have a lot of snow and it is depressing.

I think that the reason people post positive things on fb is becuase it cheers people up. I am sure some of them are depressed too. But we try to put positive things in our lives, hoping it helps.

Take care and have a good day. I hope you get a good nap. I am off to the shower.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/23/2013 6:34 PM (GMT 0)
Oh my dear sweet friend!

So very sad to hear that you are in this dark nasty place. The fog does make it worse some how, creeps into the cracks and crevices; totally surrounding a person. The only rescue is a hot bowl of soup, tea or coffee!

Be careful Display, these are the days our "darkness" likes to get a hold of us and give us a good work out. Well I it one back with 10min of stretching and some yoga. Just the stretching should be enough to lighten you mood.

Put some music on and dust the house. Bake a cake. Read positive afformations, such as the book;
"Abounding Grace" M. Scott Peck, M.D. Read poetry loud to your dog. They love it and it is good for you too!

Deep breath, let it out aaahhhh... better... wishing you much peace because I know.
Trina
Posted 3/24/2013 4:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, now it is Sunday and I am not doing much better.

All my thinking seems to be negative and that's very scary to listen to.

I tried talking to my sister (who I live with) and all she wanted to do was talk about good things for me to focus on - i would have preferred someone who would just listen to me talk about my feelings. Like for instance that I feel sad, scared and hopeless.

One thing that I'm very afraid of is that people around me are going to say "snap out of it" or "get over it". I can't seem to do that!

I do have errands to do so I guess I will just go and maybe that will help.

thanks for listening,
Posted 3/24/2013 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
Try to stay busy and not think or dwell on things. I think your sister is just trying to help you move forward, which would be a good thing to do. We can sit and think about our depression all day, but it doesn't change things. Life is short. Get out and enjoy if you can. At least try...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/24/2013 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen for your reply. It is nice to know I am always heard here. You can't say that about too many places.

I took a Klonopin and now I know when I have a bad weekend day to just take one. It quiets down the anxiety and seems to empty out my head of so many negative thoughts.

Getting out was good for me too. Even though it was just errands to the drug store and grocery. It helps to be around other people.

So I am doing fine now. thank you.
Posted 3/24/2013 7:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Display

Haven't seen you in awhile,partially cause I was in the same place as you. Sometimes we have to hold on with white-knuckles. I tried to do errands (helps with guilt about NOT doing them and helps to be around others)

I listened to music that I loved, did 10 minutes of yoga (i could not focus more than 10 mins) and made myself find 5 things a day to be graterful for. Just a few suggestions.

I hope you get to feeling better very soon. We are here and we ha ve been THERE!!

Take care
Mags
Posted 3/24/2013 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
Display so glad you are taking your med as needed and getting outside. Sometimes getting outside for just a walk around for a few blocks, makes all the difference in the day.

Keep up the good fight!

Peace
Trina
Posted 3/26/2013 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Display,

I hope you are feeling better. I deactivated my facebook account recently because I was getting depressed with "here's my perfect hubby! And here are my perfect kids! And check out our super fun vacation! " I totally have sour grapes! Haha!! At any rate, have felt much better off facebook.
Hope you got to that Al-Anon meeting...have you thought of joining a Meet Up group for something you enjoy? I am in a crochet meet up group and it brings me a lot of joy. They have them for everything you can thing of. Google meet up followed by whatever you are interested in.
In terms of doing crap chores like laundry when I feel like poop, thats when I break out the timer and set it for an hour and get whatever I
can done.

Love,
Evangelina
Posted 3/26/2013 11:27 PM (GMT 0)

getting by said...
Try to stay busy and not think or dwell on things.


This is the best advice. Rather you're at work or at home, the best thing to do is to keep your mind busy. Don't give yourself time to think of personal troubles. The hard part is letting your mind rest at night right before you go to bed. I find myself up for hours thinking about whatever it is that is bothering me. But during the day I try to keep busy so I don't think of these things. Good luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.


My first post lol.
Posted 3/27/2013 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome Annie to the forum!!!

At night I practice meditation before I go to sleep. It helps me free my mind and fall asleep faster. And it really does work. If I get anxious during the day, I do it too. Sometimes I meditate just to feel good. It brings peace.

Keep posting, and again, welcome to the forum...

Hugs, Karen...
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