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Depressed & will not bathe

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Posted 4/30/2013 1:56 PM (GMT 0)
My sixty year old ex husband has had several bouts of depression over the years. He goes from walking on sunshine to lying on the couch for months. He absolutely refuses to bathe, brush his teeth or care for his appearance at all. At times its as though he is afraid to bathe? Any suggestions? He has only bathed 2 time in the last 3 months, will not shave, won't wear his dentures, won't go outside, won't drive. He has been on his sister's couch for 3 months and has lost 70 some pounds. He refuses to keep Drs. appointments. We gave him some Lexapro and it didn't really seem to help. I'm scared.
Posted 4/30/2013 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi DebGentile,

I am sorry about your ex husband. Can you get him to go into counseling? It really does help.

Self nurturing is usually one of the first things to go when a person is depressed, and that includes bathing. It gets difficult to do anything for yourself. The best you can do is advise him to seek out counseling and get the ball rolling so to speak.

Anti depressants can take six to eight weeks to work. It is best to get them prescribed by the doctor. The wrong ones can make depression worse.

Keep on him to help himself. I am sorry for your situation.

Keep posting...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 4/30/2013 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
If he won't go to the doctor, then you should take him and go back with him, he needs you the most right now and it sounds like he's given up and he is crying out for help by doing nothing, get him that help make those appointments and take him and give him the support he needs.
There are many medications out there that might help but his doctor needs to know what's going on with him and like gettingby said it can take weeks to months for the medications to full start working...
Many well wishes to you...
Posted 4/30/2013 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
If I cannot get him up to go to the doctor, should I call an ambulance and take him to the emergency room. The lexapro was not prescribed, but a friend gave it to us. We both knew that was wrong, but Paxil has helped in the past. I just assumed that any seratonin reuptake inhibitor would do. My bad. I was desperate. His Mother suffers from dementia; however she didn't demonstrate signs of it until her late 70's. My ex husband has a history of alcoholism. It is only when he is drinking regularly that he feels like doing anything-even talking. He is not drinking now. He has no interest in doing so. How can I get him to the doctor? I've threatened him, I've begged him and still he refuses.
Posted 4/30/2013 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
There is only so much you can do. If you could get somebody to come in that would help. Such as a home care worker as Carl suggested. I don't know that you could physically force him. It is hard to watch this and not be able to help. But like I said, there is only so much you yourself can do.

I hope that things get better. Keep your chin up.

Hugs, Karen...

Do you think he needs a guardian?
Posted 4/30/2013 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
Deb,

You have or his sister has the right to call APS for him. Adult Protective Services; they will come out and see him, decide if he is a danger to himself or others and go from there. They can admit him into a short term psych hospital to get him back on his feet. He definately sounds like a canidate for APS and their guidelines.

You can look them up by state on the internet.

best of luck to you

Peace
Trina
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