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Posted 5/21/2013 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
I am hurt and in pain. I dont know why or what to do about it. I have a wonderful life. Friends who care, a family that loves me, a great opportunity at school, and yet I cant get over the fact that I feel like *****myself every day. I know many languages and I have a job already at the age of 15. I volunteer at HETRA on wednesday and sunday. I have been slipping in school and it's not because summer is so close. I am happy one second and the next thing I know is that I hear something from the back of my head and I know that what they say is true. I break down crying in the middle of my favorite class. I've been daydreaming o****** those around me, even those who I would give my life to save. I have fallen into a black hole and I can't get out. Can anyone help me? Can anyone tell me why I am doing this? Can anyone tell me how to get out of this?
~Maggie

Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 5/21/2013 2:33:12 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/21/2013 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome Maggie to our forum.

I had to change some of your post as it could be triggering to some of our members.

I am concerned that your thoughts indicate that you need to talk to someone. The sooner the better.

Suicide & Depression Hotline | Covenant House 800-999-9999
Nineline | Teen Peer Support: http://nineline.org/

TeenCentral | Teen Peer Support:

http://www.teencentral.net/

I have added some sites and phone humbers to what Carl gave you. Please call someone and start a conversation.

peace and safety
Trina
Posted 5/21/2013 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Maggie,

I wanted to also welcome you to the depression forum. You don't need to feel alone anymore, you have us. I think Trina and Carl gave you some excellent advice, don't hesitate to make a call if you need to. I hope that you feel better soon. Depression stinks, but you will get better.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/22/2013 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys. I have taken your advice and told the one person I trust the most. I am glad that I had found this place and that you guys have decided to reach out to me. It means a lot to me. Thanks again.

~Maggie

PS. Sorry about the language. I will watch what I say from now on. Thank you for informing me on that.

PSS. HETRA stands for Heartland Equine Theriputic Riding Academy. I volunteer there as a side walker and a groomer. I'm working on becoming a leader.

Sidewalker- someone who helps the rider stay on the horse during lessons
Groomer- gets the horse ready for the lessons
Leader- guides the horse during lessons
Posted 5/22/2013 11:58 AM (GMT 0)
No unfortunately I do not. I am saving up for lessons though. It's really cool that your brother-in-law and his girlfriend are thinking about that.

I do wish to keep this going. Already it's helping me. Usually I find that I wake up crying in the middle of the night but last night before bed I read some threads on here. Knowing that I am not alone helped. I feel as though this would be better for me than talking to my mother about it first. Where would you like to start?

~Maggie
Posted 5/22/2013 1:54 PM (GMT 0)
First of all, are you on any meds or going to therapy? That is a good starting spot. Being proactive about your mental health makes things move much faster. I had therapy yesterday and though I thought I had resolved some things, I guess I still have more work to do. So it is a combination of medication (if a person needs it), counseling and hard work. And it is gradual. So take things as they come.

Being mindful helps a lot. Practice mindfulness. It is being in the now at all times. It helps you forget the past, and not to worry about the future. It keeps you in the moment. Being aware...

I am sure Carl has his questions. I just wanted to give you a little insight on what needs to be done. We can't actually counsel you, but we can share what has worked for us. There is a lot of sharing going on around here. LOL... It helps...

I really hope you have a good day today and that things get better for you. Keep posting, know we all care about you Maggie. This is a start to your healing journey.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/22/2013 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
Interesting post Carl, I just had to say that...

Hugs to all...

Karen...
Posted 5/24/2013 11:29 AM (GMT 0)
Maggie,

I am so glad to see that you are posting and interacting on the forum!

This is great, just want to reinforce that you put the crisis numbers in your cell phone, due to the fact that you may not get a response from here 24/7.

This way, until you are ready to talk to your Mom you will have someone available 24/7 to talk to who cares. Please let me know that you have done this, we care so much here.

Keep posting and talking it is the best medicine sometimes.

Peace and courage
Trina
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