Just Don't have any energy

Hi,
I haven't been on here for a while, but I need a little pep talk....I have been suffering with bad depression now since Oct 2012. I am seeing a counsler once a week, if I can make myself go. I just am so sad and I don't even know why. I don't want to do anything except stare at the TV and sleep. I have lost my appetite and have to force myself to eat, I don't want to shower, wash my hair, clean, etc. I just feel so drained and have no energy.

Thank Goodness I live alone because I would surely lose a partner if I had one. I am on Celexa and Colonzapan.
I also have an appointment on Wednesday to start TMS. That is where they put a cap with magnets in it to stimulate your brain. It is a 30 week commit everyday except on weeks. They use this for people who are not responding to antidepent meds. (I can't even spell anymore) Has anyone heard of this or had it done?

As I sit here and look around my apartment I just want to cry because I just don't have the engery to clean up.

Has anyone else been this bad? If so how did you manage to get yourself out of it? It all started gradually after retiring and feeling that I had nothing more to live for, that sounds stupid I know, but my brain has just taken over and won't let up with these thoughts.

Jazzy

Thank You Karen,
appreciate the response.
Jazzy

Hi Mustang,
Thank You for responding to my posting. I have tried to get interested in other things but the depression and anxiety just has such a hold on me. I have no patience to do anything and my concentration is almost gone. I use to love to read, but now all I seem to do is think of all the aches and pains I have and worry that something is wrong with me. I have been to the Doctors quite often, had all kinds of test run on me and everything comes back normal. I have had problems with depression and anxiety all through my life off and on but nothing like this. I wonder what makes us like this? I am glad to hear that you were able to shake your depression and that you ar there feeling better. I am starting my TMS Therapy this Wednesday and I am praying that this will make me well again. You don't see any results right away, I think it takes about 4 weeks to start showing any signs of improvement, but I read on the web that one person started feeling better after two weeks so I am hoping that I will see improvement sooner than later.

I just wish I had some help around here, I have a stack of laundry and am running out of clean clothes but I have to go downstairs to do my wash and I just don't have the energy to even do that. I have a young girl that does my grocery cleaning and house cleaning even through I really can't afford it......I just can't stand living in a dirty apartment. I just need help until I get through this and I worry about that a lot which makes me more depressed.

Thank You for giving me your ear to bend, it does help.
Jazzy

hi jazzy,

sorry to hear you are feeling so depressed and anxious. i went through a bad depression in 2012. was unemployed and found it hard to get up in the morning and get started. always wanting to sleep and couldn't seem to find a reason to do anything.

here's an idea - are there people willing to help you? perhaps someone who will volunteer to come and clean up a little.

the thing i had to force myself to do every day was take a shower and eat breakfast. somehow that put me in a better mood. it's ok too if you don't shower every day.

this forum helped me a lot - people on here had been through what i was going through, and there is always someone willing to listen.

keep posting! it always helped me just to get things off my chest and out of my head.

good luck,

Alice

I had to remove you link as is considered "spam". Anything that would ask for money is considered spam.

You are welcome to participate on this forum to discuss depression in all its forms to help support it's members.

Peace
Trina

Hi Mustang,
How are you feeling today?

I am still tired, yesterday I slept off and on all day and than went to bed and slept all night. I did force myself to go out Thursday due to having Doctor appointments (everything came back normal) and I must admit, I did feel better getting out of the apartment. I also went to Walmart which I haven't been there for quite a while. I know this is going to be a fight, it has been the last 6 months since I first started feeling this way. I am going to have the TMS Therapy, but I have to get myself motivated to commit to going everyday to have the treatment. Where am I ever going to get the energy?

Your in my Thoughts,
Nancy

Hi Jazzy-

So good to hear from you. I'm sorry you are still struggling though. You asked how you are going to have the energy to go to treatments everyday..... You will find it because this may help you. It seems when I do things I want to do I find the extra energy. You will just take it one step at a time and go each day. Somedays I literally have to say " right foot move, left foot move."

I know you can do it. I would also ask your doctor about chronic fatigue and fibro just as Karen suggested.

You can do this! Good luck with your treatment. Let us know how it goes.

Michele

Depression can cause fatigue and pain. But if you aren't finding anything that helps, maybe you need to see a specialist, like a rheumatologist. Or try something that gives you some energy like wellbutrin. I take Adderall for the fatigue. It really does help.
What type of a doctor do you see? And what medications are you taking now? It is no fun having chronic fatigue, I could barely stand up for two years. I slept all the time, then I started seeing a psychiatrist and he let me try the Adderall.

I hope that you feel better soon. I pressed the wrong key and messed up my paragraphs. Sorry, I hope it isn't hard to read.

Hugs, Karen...

A lot of people with fibromyalgia see rheumys. Though I don't. But maybe if you checked the chronic fatigue forum or fibro forum, you can find out symptoms.

I take abilify and I really like it. It doesn't take long for you to see if it is going to work either. That might be just the ticket. It helps me a lot.

I know about the benzos. I take Xanax. I have cut down from 4 mg a day to 1 1/2 mg a day. I want to go off, but I am afraid my anxiety will spike. But I take pristiq and that has anti anxiety properties in it. So I can always go up some on that. I hate medications too, and I take so many. I get sick of filling the pill box once a week, but always glad when I am done.

I do find exercise and walking helps build energy, but it takes energy to do that. Maybe if you start walking a little, even five minutes, that might help. I always feel better after I walk some. I hope that you do feel better and find out what is going on. I would check out the forums, see if anything fits you. You can read you don't have to post.

Take care and I hope that your day gets better.

Hugs, Karen...

Hi Nancy,

You could be getting nausea and headaches from not eating. I do. So I always try to eat breakfast. Even if I am not that hungry. I try to eat a little. The thing about the abilify is that it gets into your system fast, and if you don't like it, it leaves fast. I found it helps me with obsessive thinking. It is a mood stabilizer too. And if you are the slightest bit bipolar, it helps with that too. It just all around helps me feel better. You are starting with a low milligram, so that is good. It did help me feel less depressed too. Well in a better mood. Or I should say it does help me, not did.

I am glad this has helped you to feel better. It is always nice to know you aren't completely alone. I am pretty much a loner too. I have a couple of friends, but don't see them much. I like being alone, that is one way that you know you like yourself.

I think we all feel alone with our depression. It seems everybody's is a little different in ways, but we still have a lot in common. But depression makes you feel lonely, or like you don't fit in with other people. Funny how it isn't that way on the forum though.

It is hard to see friends unwell. Especially dementia. That is a sad illness. I feel bad for you as it is like a loss.

Try to take life one day at a time. Stay in the moment. Don't think too far ahead, and don't look up too much on the internet, it can actually scare you. You will find out what is going on. If you mention to your doctor about fibromyalgia, they can do a tender point test on your back. It isn't the most reliable test, but it can help determine. There usually is pain involved, but not always, and some doctors don't believe in fibromyalgia. But you can mention the fatigue, it might be chronic fatigue syndrome. If it is just the depression that you have, maybe the doctor will help you with the fatigue. Either way try to keep moving around, it helps to keep your blood circulated. So to speak. It does help. If you don't move around you get more stiff. I would recommend walking a little, not running, because of your knees.

Nancy, I hope that the day is a good one. This month has gone by so fast. Tomorrow is July already.

Keep posting. I don't want you to worry about fibro or cfs, it might not even be. But the fatigue makes me think of myself when I had it badly. It was horrible.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen...

I"d just like to add to this thread about having the energy to get up every day to do a TMS treatment. When I decided to do TMS three years ago, I was sleeping 14-16 hours a day and never left my house because I was so deeply depressed. When none of the medications pulled me out of the depression (actually, some made me feel WORSE) I found TMS but was told I had to go every day (5 days a week) for 4 to 6 weeks. I thought, "How am I ever going to get up every day and do this when I can hardly get out of bed to brush my teeth or eat?" Plus I had to drive over an hour one way to the TMS treatment center! But I decided it was "Do it or die from depression" so I made a "game" out of it. I pretended that going to TMS every day was my part-time job for the summer. It worked! And after three weeks of treatment I began to feel lighter and more motivated. TMS wasn't a quick fix, but by going every day, the gentle, regular, constant stimulation to my brain eventually woke it up so that it started to produce the neurotransmitters I needed to feel normal and not depressed.

Hi Martha, Michele and Karen,
Thank You for giving me your infomation on TMS Therapy. It sounds like it worked for you which I am so happy to hear. I still haven't made up my mind yet.......I went and had a Med Eval done on what I am taking and to see if they could add something else to help me out. Right now, I am on 40 mg of Celexa and 3 mg of colonzapam as needed. Today they put me on BUSPIRONE, 10 mg twice a day. I did do a little research on the web and looked at user reviews and it seems like this could be just what might help me. I have more problems with the nervousness than I have with the depression.

I am going to start taking my first dose tonight and I will keep in touch with everyone to let you know how I make out. If this doesn't work than I will seriously think about going for the TMS Therapy.

I decided not to take the Abilify due to the fact that it had to many side effects that I just am afraid to mess with.

Wish me luck on the Buspirone

Thanks all for your input,
Nancy