I can't believe I actually decided to look for help, because I'm not that type of person. I've always been the one that tries to look happy go lucky, everyone comes to me with their problems and asks for help, but why do I have to now? I know I struggled with it real bad in high school, but why now you may ask? Well, here is the rundown of my life.
I'm an idiot and I ****ed up really bad. There. I said it. I've accepted this, and decided to try and get help with my emotional, and situational issues. But wait, I don't have money, because my job doesn't have enough work for me, and oh ya! I can't get to a job because I don't have a car! So here is where it all began.
I'm 19, had family issues in Montana, and moved in with a friend down here in FL, because I was told that I'd get paid well at the business her parents own. I trusted them. That's where my mistakes began. I trusted who I thought was my best friend, and moved down here with her and her parents who said I'd have free room and board because I'd be able to afford to get my car down here soon, and be able to afford an apartment. Ya, that obviously didn't happen.
They started slowing down on business, and now can't even afford to pay me if I was to work for them. I don't have a car to get to any job, and they don't have time to bring me. the nearest gas station is several miles away. It's not hiring. I've tried to take out a loan, but wait! I'm 19 with a car loan! I don't have credit for that! Fan****ingtastic! Not to mention I was told that I'd have my own room, and I'm stuck sleeping in the same room as a 17 year old who doesn't go to ****ing sleep till who knows when in the morning and is loud all night on xbox telling people to ************and acting like she is the world and more, then screams for no ****ing reason and wakes up everyone in the whole house because she had no respect.
I tried doing drawing commissions, and writing commissions, got one writing commission, but that's it. Asked for help from a art community, you know, maybe get some advice. Was called a scam artist, because asking for people to give you advice is totally scamming them out of their money. I have tried everything I can think of, my family can't help me get home because mom mom is having surgery, which is why I need to get home to take care of her. My sister has college, and I don't know the majority of my family.
Now I'm sitting here, desperately trying to get out of this depression, and oh ya, try to make some ****ing money to get my dumb ass out of the hole I've dug. I thought about
suicide, ruled that out because it would hurt the people I love. But now the depression that I'm slipping into is getting worse, I can't even bring myself to eat without getting sick. I'm lacking in sleep so I can't think straight, and nobody in this world will even bother to help give a little advice to a struggling teen who, like a lot of teens out there, ****ed up really bad.
Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 10/20/2013 9:00:14 AM (GMT-6)