Shattered

Their dad isn't my current husband. He and I have been divorced for 5 years. He still bad mouths me to the kids. He has finally quit calling me a ***** and *****. Now he just tells them that I was a bad mom and that he can't trust me. He tells them that I don't love them because I divorced their father.

My current husband has never bad mouthed me to my kids. He has told me that when I'm depressed I'm not as good a mom, though. That's probably true.

I have so much I want to say to you...but first and most important is probably this:

You are absolutely NOT a bad mom....bad moms don't worry about whether or not they're good moms. Bad moms don't even consider their children when it comes to their other relationships...and they certainly don't swear off marriage for fear of how it might affect the kids. So please try to cross that off your worry list.

Now on to the other stuff:

* You should continue to receive insurance thru your husband...at LEAST until the divorce is finalized...because until then, you're still legally married.

* If I were you, I would look into alimony. That would take a lot of the stress out of the *loss of income* part of the divorce, because he'd still be providing you with some income, you just wouldn't be married.

* There's something called an "economic hardship deferment" that you can apply for for your student loans. A person can qualify for a number of reasons, including if they're receiving assistance from the government. This includes things like food stamps, supplemental income, disability, housing etc. Since you're on disability, you should be eligible. What it does is basically put your loan payments on hold for as long as you're receiving the help. So for example, if you get your disability reviewed every year in Jan. and you apply for the economic hardship deferment in June, you would be eligible for the initial deferment for the six months until your next review, and then when your disability got approved for the next year, you would then be eligible for the deferment for that second year, etc.

I'm on disability as well, and I applied for the deferment and was approved. And I have no kids. So definitely call your loan providers. They've also got other programs that will reduce or temporarily stop your payments, if this one doesn't pan out for some reason. That way the student loans can be off the worry list too!

* Being on disability, and having little or no other income should qualify you for Medicaid and other programs. You might have to switch some providers around....but you can still get those procedures you're needing done.

It just all seems like a lot I know...and it is...but we're here for you and if you take it one thing at a time...you CAN build your life back together...you absolutely have the strength...you've come so far already!

***Sorry for the long post guys!***