Will I ever be me again?

Hey all, I'm new here...

I've been suffering from depressions and anxiety for the past year and finally saw the doctor the beginning of September. I am now on zoloft and feeling better most days. But today has been really tough. Nothing happened, I just feel low. When I am busy with work, family, voluteering, and other things I feel okay, but on the days when there are no plans, I just feel depressed and low. I used to love days like today, where we just hang out and I can do whatever I want. But the things I used to enjoy just don't bring any joy. I guess I am just missing the joy and being busy helps me not realize it.

My husband is patient and good to me and my life is good. I have great kids doing good things. I am a teacher and love my job, etc. So where is the joy? In head it is there, as I know I should be happy, but it seems fleeting to stay happy. I am deeply religious and still find the joy to be fleeting and short lived. I am used to feeling fulfilled and happy, so this depression and anxiety are getting to me. It seems like a vicious circle. I feel low and then think this will never end and then get lower, etc.

This past summer I was so sad and anxious ALL the time. The pain was almost unbearable. I feel a lot better now, but still not like myself. So I guess a day here and there is better than no relief. Just wondering if this what my life will be. We all go through ups and downs, but for the majority of my life I have been a happy positive person.

Thanks for listening. I guess I am just wondering if there are others who have experienced depression and anxiety later in life (I'm in my late 40s) can get the feeling back they once had.

Sorry about the edits! I like to try to get things right :)

It's a personal quality, I have :)

Best Wishes!

Loveathome, hi I'm married with children in my early 30's. Every day I wonder if I'll ever totally overcome depression, etc. Each situation I'm in, I want to enjoy and let go but it's like something stops me. I do believe that I need to keep going everyday, keep trying and one day things will be better. Chin up. :)

mam one word i always remember when i think of joy its not what you think which others have and we lack !
trust me everybody is going through unexplainable sarrow and hushs
straight up be strong you have a family to look after try aiming to get your kids to achieve something (i know you are doing it )
with medication
try to join a social community ,
indulge yourself in activites which makes you value your time the most
if possible join a community college
'add 'fun to your life !!
wish you happy days
by tejas

Hi, I myself have learned after all the years of depression that medications can only do so much and that I have to over come those days on my own. Without the medications I would be in much worse shape.
I try to stay busy, I really try to go for a 30 min walk, do things that distract me and for the most part I can get through those days pretty good.
Try to find the things that help you get through it and stay focused on them when you need too.
Anything that can help from reading, to singing at the top of your lungs.
Stay strong

Hi SingerLady,

Welcome to the forum. Give the Lexapro a little more time, often it can take up to eight weeks to reach full potential. I would give it a few more weeks before an increase. But of course, go by what your doctor says.

Hugs, Karen...

Hello ......

   It sounds like you have much of what many of us would like to have in our lives. One or more persons to love and get returned love ... a sense of purpose in life and you love your job (and so the fulfilled sense of purpose).

   Many of us are lonely .... live alone .... and some with even worse things to face in life.

   This is not to minimize your depression and/or anxiety ... but try to put it into perspective with what you do have. You did not say whether or not you were going to professional help for guidance .... like a psychologist or therapist.

   If not, I would highly recommend seeing one. It is so helpful for a professional to listen to you - and make some suggestions - and the suggestions coming from a person who is not emotionally attached to you.

   You may need an adjustment in meds ... maybe not ... but a doctor needs to determine that.

   I have been on a generic Lexapro (20mg) for a little over 2-months now, and it has made a big difference in any emotional outbreaks - either from anxiety or depression. It was suggested by a psychologist who deals with terminal diseases that I have been seeing.

Good luck to you. Don't let this spoil an otherwise great life.

Rob & Gizzy

 

Hello again .......

   I would just like to add ... please don't be embarassed to sit down with a psychologist. It is what they are trained for ... and their function in life - to help guide people and open up new doors.

   Typically there is a big difference between the typical pschologist and psychiatrist. In their training, one focuses greatly on analyzing and recommending a course of action or thought to get thru depression or whatever the situation is.

   The other focuses, in training, of medications available and how they perform. So, in a sense, the psychiatrist is much more like a medical doctor regarding prescriptions - while a psychologist is much more like a sociologist.

   My current psychologist recommended Lexapro, my primary doctor knows him ... so the primary had no problem in prescribing the medication for me.

   I've had experiences with three different psychologists over the past 20-years ..... and someone I was very close to had an ongoing relationship with a psychiatrist. The difference between the two practices was huge ... just huge!!!!

Wishing you the best.

Rob and Gizzy