i jus dont know anymore.

I don't understand anything anymore. Throughtout life I notice that life is unfair and I know it is, but could it get anymore unfair? I say this because things literally never turn out the way I expect. In life you always seem to have those successful people the people that win without trying that get things in life handed it to them. Unfortunately I am not one of those people. I am not the born leader I am the one in the background holding the mic. For the star. I'm the one that follows without wanting too I am the one that gets the girl taking from the best. The one that has no luck the one that no matter how hard he tries in anything will lose on life. I am stressed with debt, with college, with having no friends. I can't speak to anyone about how I feel because people don't understand now adays. They just don't get the point they say things will be fine but in reality they tell you what you wanna hear so it doesnt help. I for once wanna be happy. Have a good paying job, have a companion by my side have friends to depend on emotionally to have around. A normal family to be around with. But it's the complete opposite I'm jus a person who wakes up and thinks today's yesterday nothing's gonna change ileven if I try to make change. How can I make things better how can I be a winner how can I get me self esteem up physically and emotionally ? How can I feel better as a person how can I interact with others ? How can I wake up with a smile on my face ? How. I don't know how.

What has created all of your negativity?

   Some understandable ones could be:

   1) sexual molestation as a child.

   2) major deaths in a family.

   3) complete loss of home or shelter.

   4) death of a child.

   5) terminal cancer.

You asked a few questions at the end of your post. Those are perfect questions for a therapist or psychologist to review with you.

I think we all have had disappointments in life - some rather major. Most people here have had at least one of the five items listed above. Many have had at least two of the above.

We are here to listen ...... but YOU are there to do something about it!

Peace and wellness

Rob & Gizmo

 

hi gallo1,

i just wanted to tell you, i relate to your thoughts and feelings about other people. it's a big part of my depression that i compare myself to other people, that SEEM on the outside to have no problems, who just seem to pass through life without problems and seem to have it all.

and about friendship - i have discovered some friends aren't interested at all in my depression. luckily i have some that ARE, and they never seem to tire of trying to help.

but when i have talked it over with my therapist he helps me see that everyone has problems and thinking otherwise is just a setup for me feeling less than others. he also helps me see the successes i have made in life.

that you are willing to come here and share your feelings is a really good first step. keep sharing on this board and you may feel better. you can pretty much share anything here except plans to self harm.

i know i have used this board a lot just to process my thoughts and feelings.

Display, remember your depression isn't you. It is just a part of you. So don't let it define who you are...

Hugs, Karen...