After 28 years of Marriage my wife left me, says she needs time to figure thngs out. I thought up until about
2 years ago we had a good marriage, when she informed me about
10 years earlier she had a 2 year affair with a coworker who lived in another town. She then told me she recently had a one night affair with another coworker and was regretful for that one. We tried counceling but she wouldnt let me say anthing about
the affair. It was blown off as communication isssues. We shortly stopped going to the
Counselor because it really wasnt working. The counselor and wife tell me there is no one else right now.
For the next two years I did everything I knew how to do to make sure I was communicating with her. My wife has never been a big communicator and would rather brush things under the carpet than deal with them. My wife is a good person and a good mother to our two kids who are 18+. We had one child with Asperbergers. She comes from a divorced family my parents are still together. She is the politician and I am the diciplinarian. Sometimes that got in the way and I think she resents me for not being more involved but I saw early on that if I got involved in the asbergers issues it would drive a wedge between us so I really didnt push anything I was there if needed but usually she handled the schools(unless the issue was big)
She actually left me at the councelors office. After telling me everything was ok and we actually had plans to go out after the meeting, I sat down, the counselor told me my wife wanted to leave me, she had an apartment and was leaving and with that she left.
The counselor told me that my wife wants to work on the marriage but is feeling smothered by my always checking with her on how she is feeling and she felt the only way she could leave me was this way.
I feel kinda betrayed by the counselor but she gives me indications there are hopes for reconciliation.
I am not allowed to talk to my wife for the next two weeks. Only text if needed. The counselor did say we could have easter together on Sunday(so I really dont know what to say when I see her)
She has told 30 year friends and family, that we have seperated but is only talking to a childhood friend and the counselor. She will not discuss it with anyone.
I admitt I am/was codependent on her.
I always thought we would be together. When ther are no stressors I thought we liked to do the same things and had good times together. None of our friends saw this coming and thought we were happy.
She told me the other day she didnt really think we had a friendship we just simply liked doing the same things and it wasnt friendship it was just passing time.
I am not sure if there are any next steps I can do to try and win her back. Any guidance would be greatly appeciated!