New here - looking for support/someone to listen

Hi everyone, this is my first post here.

I am a 21 year old woman who has recently graduated from college with a diploma in Therapeutic Recreation. Throughout my college career, I knew that it wasn't the right fit for me, and felt the whole time as if I was only doing it because I thought it was the right thing to do after graduating high school and taking a year off.

Now, after graduation, I have tried to apply for jobs in my field with no avail. I have some sort of mindset that I will feel happy if I find a job doing work in my field, but inside I know this isn't true because my heart just isn't in it.

I spend my days as a housekeeper at a hotel working myself to the bone for peanuts and it makes me feel even worse. Recently I have been hired at a children's aid centre as a casual developmental service worker and I have no interest in doing it to the point where it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

The past year I have felt absolutely sick with my life to the point where I want to do nothing but sit at home and eat. All week I have been holding back tears because I feel so lost and confused with what to do with my life. I feel disgusted that I am working at a hotel as a housekeeper after college. My life is nothing I thought it would be. I have no one that understands the way I feel and my partner can't understand the way I am feeling. In fact, I feel like he almost is annoyed with the way I act on bad days. I try to disguise the way I am feeling because I don't want to annoy him. But it's hard to put on a happy face when you feel so low.

I am simply looking for support or someone to talk to... I'm not sure if this is the right forum but here I am...

Hi UPG,

I agree with AV that you should see a career counselor. I think that would help you to make up your mind what you want to do. Nothing wrong with a couple degrees if you can't find work in your field.

Welcome to the forum before I forget...

I put on a happy face all the time. It works for the most part. And I become happy after doing it. So that isn't all that bad... They say 'fake it till you make it". It helps.

Hugs Karen...

Thank you everyone for your responses, first off.

I am from Canada, and the location I live in has next to nothing for jobs available in anything, at least not for jobs that pay above the minimum wage. It is getting extremely difficult as I am slowly drowning in bills and debt. I would love to go to a career counsellor, but I'm not sure if there are any in my area..? Where do career counselors work out of?

Basically I am tired of feeling hopeless and pathetic. It is getting hard to get out of bed in the mornings because my life feels like a bottomless pit that I keep digging away at...lol. I am consistently applying to places trying to get somewhere where I won't feel so...pathetic I guess. I expect a lot out of myself and easily wear myself down with expectations that may be too high for me to reach. I feel like crap being with my partner because he makes 3x the amount I do hourly so I feel like I am a burden. I want the crappy feelings to stop already lol.

I think most universities have career counselors. Places that offer career type training (unemployment office, job placement centers). There are even some online. Try blocking career interest tests.

Moving could be a viable option but you need to be sure you have a job before moving. I would recommend engaging in activities thatcan give your resume an extra boost. Extra training, volunteer work, and one that is very desirable to employers is knowing a second language. A lot of universities offer good courses on languages.

I can relate to how you are feeling. I also am looking for a group to talk to that can relate, but I don't feel judged or uncomfortable.

I have had depression on and off for 9 years. The last 4 months have been extremely hard, and now looking for others in hard times to discuss symptoms, meds, and things that help get back to a better state. How have you all coped with low times? Do your meds work?

I have been off work for a month, and still no help with anxiety and depression. I thought it was work related, but still waking up each day with down feelings, lack of energy and motivation, and wanting to stay in bed/home. I started to work out last week, but today, after working out, no improvement. Came home and laid on the couch.

Hope to hear more from this forum and any advice helps?

Very informative discussion is going on...keep it up babes...

Wow, I am grateful to see all the great replies and ideas. I never thought there would be people out there willing to listen and provide insight/advice... everyone I've talked to about it usually tells me "you're still young" and "get over it". Yes I am young but I have what I would call an old soul and I don't feel or act my age. And, as for getting over it... well, they just don't understand because everyone else seems to have their life figured out.

I guess I am having a hard time adjusting to life after college, I didn't think my life would be this way after graduation. I thought I did well enough in school (4.0 GPA throughout my college career) that I would be above the others in my class when it came down to applying for and getting jobs. But now, I'm watching what seems to be everyone get careers while I waste my life housekeeping at a hotel. Maybe it is because I feel my job is so... degrading ? that I'm upset over this. Just an all over bad feeling when the thoughts of what seems to me to be my failed life overwhelm me to the point of where I can't sleep. I know my life isn't failed, but for some reason I keep thinking this in my head.

There are many jobs in my field in other areas of Canada, but I own my own house with my partner (and 2 cats!) and don't want to move, and all in all it really isn't an option. I think I need to find hobbies or something I can do to try distract myself, even though I feel all I ever want to do is obsessively stalk the online job banks in hopes that something that interests me will come up. Basically I am scared I will never get my life together.

I have good days and bad days, and today I have anxiety through the roof over it lol.

Good luck sweetheart. I hope you get the job. One day at a time...

Hugs, Karen...

Just woke up, will post more later...