Anti-depressants & add on drugs

Sean-

I know a lot of ppl take sleeping pills but I personally can't take them. They make me feel spaced out and hungover. Prescription pain pills do the same thing to me. Is your sleep medication precription? Have you always had to take a sleep medication and if so, do you remember it causing you to feel unreal?

I'm sorry your evening was rough. I know it's hard to believe now and our struggle doesn't seem fair but we will find what we consider joy and wellness again. It's just taking longer. I too am very envious of the folks who report taking a new med then voila it's working in a week or two. We have had that success before so it's bittersweet for us. Don't judge yourself for feeling jealous but maybe there is a mantra you could say to yourself instead of ruminating on envy or frustration like "things are shifting in my favor too" or "I am healthy and getting better." A mantra to say when you get lost in your thoughts to replace some if the negative.

Please let us know how you feel today with less of your sleeping tablet.

Peace & Joy,

Lisa

Hey everyone,

Sorry for late reply, I really was struggling last night and today so I went back to the hospital as my consultant said he was going to try me on Lamotrigine but not until we gave it a few more weeks on these anti-depressants but my depersonlization was so bad that I was desperate and wanted to give up. The hospital was not helpful because they had discharged me from their services last week which I think was premature but my consultant is going to call me tomorrow. I read an article on depersonlization and they mentioned Lamotrigine together with an SSRI as showing promise to reduce the symptoms so it was weird that my consultant mentioned it in the first place unless he already knew.

Sorry guys I don't mean to bring anyone down around me, good thing is last night I only took half a sleeping tablet and did not have one today so my aim now is to stop them just in case they could be causing some of it. There have been times I did not want to live I must admit but I am more scared of giving up then I am of living through it if that makes sense.

Hawk you are right we are all in this together and I am not through yet and will be there for you all like you have been for me.

Hey Lisa,

Thank you for message and I hope you are okay?

I was taking the sleeping tablets to avoid being awake and having to deal with the depersonlization but I wont be doing that again. I didnt sleep great last night and had some weird dreams but I know that is because I have reduced the dosage of sleeping tablet which the doctor wanted me to do anyway in about two weeks.

I def feel more alert tonight and hopefully I will be okay.

Are you having a good day?

Hugs

Sean

Hey just wanted to drop in and say that I'm pulling for all of you too. It's a special kind of he** dealing with depression and anxiety, I know too well.

Big hugs all around, I'll be keeping up with your stories.

Thanks Anxiety life I feel your pain too big hugs....

Wow Lisa that is a long time to spend at the hospital, is he okay?

Sorry you had a tough start to the week but you are smashing through the bad times it seems and I need to draw on some of that strength but I am finding it so tough but of course everyone on here finds things tough and like my tattoo says its about going that extra round in life when you think you cant that makes all the difference in life and last night I really felt my fight was up lol

My depersonilization started when I had a horrible anxiety attack back in Feb, I have only ever had three bad anxiety attacks and after each of them, I felt weird and spaced out but that feeling never lasted more than two weeks unlike this time but I think the difference is my anti-depressants stopped working and I have taken such a long time off work and just spent it in my room not interacting with people which was a really bad move. Now I am making more effort to get out and interact as it should go away quicker when I do that plus when the anti-depressants kick in too.

I hope you have a nice time with your friend tonight, its like 11:15 pm here and I am so tired so I am going to try sleep with no sleeping tablets.....wish me luck lol

Hugs

Sean

Gosh, I replied to a post of Sean's about having some better times--and totally missed all the ones in between.

I wish everyone less of a daily struggle and moments of brightness in everybody's lives. We're all as a unit, here.

I believe all of us have had or continue to have some monumental struggles, caused by a variety of circumstances and periods in our lives.

Jan

Thank-you Karen for pointing that out. I needed to hear that. I don't often give myself credit for these small victories so thank-you. Tonight I'm entertaining my friend unexpectedly bc her flight has been delayed 7! hours. We drove around looking at homes and condos and it was nice. I'm feeling kinda detached a bit tonight but I just keep reminding myself this is just the depression, not me and I'm ok this is not permanent. Plus I'm exhausted so that def plays a big roll. I just took a Xanax and am ready to get in Jammie's, play phone games & fall asleep lol.


-Lisa

Hey thanks Jan how are you doing?

Yes well done Lisa and Karen is def right, my friend rang me the other day as her little boy had fallen off a wall and hurt his elbow so I took them to hospital which just happens to be the same hospital where I have been for myself like a million times but because it was not for me, I was not focused on my issues as much so mindfulness is quite a powerful thing. Has anybody ever seen the film(documentry)or read the book "The Secret"? That is quite a powerful book and explains how we can attract the things we want into our life's although not so easy when you are not thinking straight I guess.

I am waiting for a call from the consultant today about putting me on Lamotrigine which he said to wait a few weeks to see if the anti-depressants kick in but because I have heard Lamotrigine along with an anti-depressant is meant to help depersonilization, I want him to put me on it asap. There is no point in suffering if they can give me something that might help quicker.

Hope all of you are feeling peaceful today.....this is my first day in a month and a half where I am not taking any type of benzo so I am a bit anxious but I dont want to get addicted to them.

Hugs everyone.

Sean

Btw, I've watched the movie version of The Secret. It's very good and I believe in it. I need to watch it again.

Hey Lisa,

So sorry you are having a crappy morning, if you are anything like me, the first thing you do when you wake up is check to see how you are feeling and if the depersonlization is there. I wish we could erase it from our minds so that we didnt know what it because I am starting to think that giving it an identity and so much of our thoughts is making it worse, well I know it is. It's a horrible cycle where anxiety causes it but then when we have it, we become anxious anyway so we have to find a way to break the cycle and I do believe there are many ways to do that including with meds and CBT but the hard part is breaking away from the depersonlization for long enough to concentrate on doing other things that would help us. It is sometimes just much easier to curl up into a ball and try sleep it off but I refuse to do that anymore. I am not going out without a fight, I am going to live a happy life one day soon I know it because I deserve it and so do each and every one of you.

The world needs more people like all of you on these forums.

Hope the rest of your day improves, hope you are okay too Karen :)

Hawk- it's likely a combination of everything. Depression exhausts some people and they can sleep and sleep all day & night given the opportunity. Sometimes I wish for that bc I used to love to take naps & I don't anymore (I'm not relaxed enough/not tired/don't wànt to mess up my night sleep).

Maybe snap your morning Ativan in half when you get the anxiety.

Jan made a valid and truthful statement as did My Anxiety Life- don't settle for a crappy psych. You've "heard" the psych w/good reviews is hard to get into but have you actually called and said "is Dr. So&so taking new patients bc I need to be seen?" You can make that call right now! Tell them you're not getting the results you need on current meds, you're a teacher & are going back to school next week & is there anyway you could get an appt ASAP or be put on a cancellation list.

A psychiatrists office should be answering all of these questions as this is outpatient treatment. Does your current psych have nurses or NP's on staff or it's just him?

Go make that call. We support you.

Ps: Sean- I know this is personal but as I'm reading abt depersonàlization more, seems a lot of folks get it after smoking marajuana. Were you smoking it prior to February's panic attack by chance? Just curious. I haven't smoked pot for over 20 yrs (college lol!), but experiencing it mildly (but still enough to suck), with my current situation. Frankly, it doesn't matter how it came on as much as it is treating it now and treating the underlying anxiety/depression.

Love to all!

Lisa

OOOH I wasn't recognizing the name Lamotrigine. It's Lamictal! My NP @ psych takes it w/her AD (she's the psychs daughter too lol). She & I have bonded and she self discloses just a little to put me at ease. It's a mood stabilizer like Abilify. She likes Lamictal better but put me on Abilify bc it was quicker acting and I was days away from flying to Florida for vacation (that I almost didn't go too)! The Abilify did nothing bad but it didn't pull me all the way out so it was stopped. Eventually I switched AD's to Pristiq in mid June. 3 weeks ago they added Wellbutrin. Psych told me last appt that Lamictal could def be considered when I go back on Aug 15.

I know CheleL on here takes Lamictal, Wellbutrin & Prozac. That was the combo that got her outta the funk.