Getting very sick again

Well, here I am, don't know why I'm even writing this but I know I am getting really sick again, had terrible few days last week but they passed, but...it worried me as I can get SO sick with depression that...well, to just be put out of my misery.

I've just felt so weepy, I am in a lot of pain from an accident so know that's not helping but it's more than that I know it. I'm not sleeping, thoughts racing on and on.

today one of my daughters announced I owe her...owe her for a crappy childhood, she needs money as she just lost her job, is going to school and is annoyed she has to go on a Saturday...I tried to tell her it's okay about the school...before she tore in to me.....this is what you have to do to get a career...then she said I sit here doing nothing...not true...and all the money is her dad's not mine...I have no say about it as I don't work!!!!????

I tell you I literally burst in to tears as I have only had her best interest at heart, when she was small I took care of her all by myself...husband did not at all....and I had no help, my adoptive family didn't care what we were gong through even when I literally begged for me and my daughter and at times my step-daughter if we could possibly just stay for a little while to get ahead...husband was/is abusive...the answer...nope...

I have major depressive disorder, since late teens and I have had beyond terrible horrendous times, being hospitalized and then doing the best for my daughter, I guess she hates me for it, I thought we were close...this is insane.

She has two friends who their mom's married rich men who pay for everything...I don't care but my daughter does, I feel such a failure but know deep down I shouldn't.

I am falling apart now and this can get deadly serious, my daughter brought her cat here for me to look after but my dog does not like it so there's a battle to keep them apart, every single night I am so stressed and cannot relax, my daughter went insane at me when I said this is not going to work....then, and I cannot believe she said this....I have an attitude, you do not talk to your mother like that!!!!!

She did get a hefty settlement and blew through it last year, I tried to talk to her about investing it but no...her boyfriend goes gambling and takes her and that worries me too.

She has now stormed out and I can't take this, if this were someone else writing this I'd tell them how rude she is being and to not stand for it but....and I did, I definitely did tell her.

I guess I am such an embarrassment to her, did not know that...God that hurts :(

I have been doing mindfulness and it has been helping but this terrible blow up from my daughter and what she thinks of me is killing me now, on the other hand she has always said she loves me so much, we say it to each other every single day, I love her more than anything in this world.

I am now in awful tears and dread going to the Dr to say...hey, I'm getting depressed again...oh God I this illness, it is torture, just when I was doing so well after being out on Wellbutrin, the severe concussion sent me in a spiral and never been the same since but that I could accept but my daughter saying those things to me.....

PLEASE ....................

Remove the "entitlement" issues from your life!

Not yours - of course!

   I have two daughters - and my oldest one has some entitlement issues of her own. Knowing that she was quitting work this past Spring, the family of four still went on a Disney Cruise for 5 or 6-days in the Bahamas.

   Shortly after that, she quit her job - and her husband got fired within a week of that. Now they have a mortgage and two car payments with no income.

   It is sometimes a "helpless" situation that we parents get into - BUT - we cannot be held responsible for the entitlement issues of someone else.

   My other daughter is not like that at all ...... and I believe you have other children or a child without that issue.

   Don't allow this to eat you alive!

Peace and wellness

Rob & Gizmo

 

You are a good person and are compassionate.

Sounds like your daughter has settled on entitlement issues found in her "friends". She will learn the hard way in life that you were the best thing that happened to her. Hopefully before it is too late.

Try hard not to blame yourself. I know this is not easy. However it is not your fault. The issues your daughter has are hers you did not give them to her, she chose the road she is on.

I wish you comfort and peace
Trina

Dear Thundercloud--

I, like Karen, didn't have the words to say after I first read this. And even now, my words would turn into a novelette.

My emotions are so in tune with you right now, and it breaks my heart to know this is happening to you.

After all you've been through and continue living with...

Has your daughter ever experienced "tough love"? Is she old enough to live on her own?

This ugly situation simply canNOT come crashing down on you. Of course, anger won't solve it, but there must be some kind of recourse. It might take years to fix, but taking care of yourself comes first, and a daughter usually comes around with time.

Did you say that your husband is supportive now? If so, will he help with this?

Thundercloud, I was speaking with a woman the other day who used to literally wash her kids' mouths out with soap after they were bad. She said it worked every time...

I hurt for you--and to have to keep the critters separated, too! Where on earth did she get her pedestal??? Peers???

You're in my heart--
Jan

Thank you so much everyone, I will wrote more tomorrow as today has been very bad, no sleep last night, I'm fighting so hard to not go further down and am doing a lot of self talk, I know all of you are right. xx

Hi granmatopayton,

Welcome to the depression forum. I am glad you have joined us but sorry for what you have been through. We all can feel your pain. Keep posting, as it does help. You gave some very good advice.

Hugs, Karen...