Newbie with a question

Welcome. It sounds like you're using alcohol to make you feel better at the moment, but as you say in your message it's an anti-depressant and you pay for it later.

If you're on an anti-depressant you may find that alcohol affects you more than usual. I'm on Celexa and one glass of wine makes me loopy. I think that the recommendation on the label says Celexa may intensify the affect of alcohol. For this reason and the interactions with another medical condition I don't drink very often - in fact next to never.

Perhaps there are other things you could do that are healthier ways to cope in challenging situations. When you're going to bed and want something comforting or to help you sleep try a cup of herbal tea. I have found one called Calm that works great. If you're nervous about social situations take a good friend and ask them to stick by you or limit your time. Only go to events where you feel comfortable. I cut back a lot on the social outings I attend. I know it's not the healthiest because a symptom of depression is withdrawl; I have stopped just limited to the ones I know I can handle. Try not to force yourself to do things. If there's something you feel you need to do, do it and then do something nice for yourself, have a bath, read a book. Don't punish yourself.

Good luck!