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update from A&P!

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Posted 11/3/2014 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
Here is an update....
Starting on Tuesday I had my anxiety set off by my nine year old saying that he felt like he was going to "be sick". I had my first anxiety attack in over a year. I was so upset that I did not want to be around my son. I pulled myself together enough to sleep a bit, but the next day my body was shaking and my stomach was so sick I did not eat at all. Wednesday I was worse! I decided that night that I was not going to give in to my anxiety. So I started to do things that I was becoming anxious about, on Thursday things were better but not 100% and I still was so tired and my stomach and heartburn were so bad still, I only ate 1 thing since Tuesday. Friday I woke up and I have been normal ever since. My sleep and cbt have been my saving grace. I have eaten so much and although my heartburn is bad at the moment, I am not anxious about it more bothered than anything. I am so happy. I know to stay off of "dr. Google" but I do research anxiety and cbt training and the more I learned and remembered the better I felt. So this is my update for now. I have decided that doing my best us enough for god and I, then it is all good. I know it is hard for folks but there is a light at the end and you can reach the light. Train yourself and seek help it is always worth it. Just wanted to let you all know how I am doing. Good night guy
Posted 11/3/2014 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
Great job!

Peace
Trina
Posted 11/3/2014 5:58 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Trina.
Posted 11/3/2014 6:11 AM (GMT 0)
I am very overwhelmed by the past couple of months and I am not sure that I am coping that good.

First my grandpa passes and then Rob passes then bills pile up so much that I can't pay them all and have no help. Then the B.S above. Now I am so depressed that I am just in tears and down on the floor in the fetus position. I want to stay in a ball and never get up. I missed 2 appointments because of the dang anxiety and now I am not getting calls back. I more than angry at my son and he doesn't give a flying pig! I am lonely and I don't have a chance to get out, no money and no car. I am sick of my life. I am in a room full of happy people in love and all that crap and no gives a rusty Shhhhhhhhhhhh that I am there because I am no one to them as I am pretty enough or skinny enough or smart enough or have a place of my own or a car of my own. I have 2 true friends that are here and one is married and the other doesn't mess with guys so I have to do this on my own. I do not need a guy, but having a guy in my life to love me for me and to love my son as his own would be nice. I could scream and No one would care. My life isn't horrible it is just hard and I wanted to be and live better and I am trying but it's hard and defeat is always one step behind trying to catch me and wrap it's nasty arms around me. I hate this never ending hole I seem to be in.
Posted 11/3/2014 10:52 AM (GMT 0)
i send you many healing,compassionate thoughts. it does get better, things have a way of going full circle, and even when they do, as i have found out you can still be kicked in the butt. i went with the flow, best advice i have got for ya. no expectations, no time frames or anything, just time out for you. keep strong, don't give up, know your enemy and find it's weakness, and slowly grind at it. here for you. sending strength and might your way.
Posted 11/3/2014 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Jamie. I know things will be better. I just feel let down by life is all. I guess that life is not fair, okay I know it is not but I just want it to be a little more fair. Lol just tired of B.S is all.
Posted 11/3/2014 11:07 PM (GMT 0)
Would it help to know you made me laugh so hard at "rusty pig" that my dog flew off the couch in fear? tongue

Sorry you're struggling and missed those appts. I've done the same thing.

Jess- this is a rough time of the year and you said it's hard for you. It will pass and frankly, I think you're doing the best you can despite all the bull shhhhhhhhh. I wish we were near & I'd hang out with ya. I'm lonely too as all my dear friends moved 2+ hours away. What state are you in anyway?

Know we are always here for you, in good times & bad.

Sending you big hugs & healing-
Lisa
Posted 11/4/2014 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
Lisa- I am sorry that your friends are so far away. I am in California, northern California. Not the best town but a place to rest when I can. I would love to meet all of you guys and have a big old healingwell party. No drinking for me, I did all that when I was younger. Lol okay 11 years ago actually. I am only 29. That would be so fun.
Posted 11/4/2014 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
I meant"flying pig!" LOL!

Yeah, those of us on meds need not touch alcohol lol.

I hope you're having a pleasant evening and get some good sleep tonight. Praying for you!

Sending love-
Lisa
Posted 11/4/2014 4:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Lisa
Posted 11/4/2014 6:29 AM (GMT 0)
party on dude. i'll be there!!!!!!!
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