Posted 12/18/2014 5:47 PM (GMT 0)
I'd like to give you every little detail but it makes me upset so I'll give you the jist.:
Me and my ex had a great relationship, really did and I believed she loved me 100 %, but there be a few times where(I knew about her depression from the beginning) she would tell me things like she's not a good girl to be with, apologize for being the girl I fell in love with, stuff I told her she was wrong about, she would say she was afraid of pushing me away and that the depression would get in the way of our relation ship, and I told her only if we let it. So fast forward to nov. 7th everything's great just as lovely but it's one of her down days, later that night we went for coffee and sat in the car for hours talking about us and our futures and it went well, but later that night she had panic attacks, and requested I take her home, I insisted I went with her, I usually put her to sleep, head in lap playing with her hair, but she refused, and withdrew, eventually I gave in, and she ripped me by my dog tags crying said I don't want to feel like this anymore, and it scared me, and eventually she asked to go home again, I took her. She texted me as soon as I dropped her of saying she felt bad already and I was making her feel worse, because I looked upset dropping her off, imediately apologizing saying she doesn't mean any of it she is just so fed up with her self and loves me so much, the next day I get in a car accident in her car, small, but insurance was exchanged and after that I really haven't seen her again, she stopped school, moved back home broke up with over text, saying she needs to get pass this on her own, it wasn't my fault, she's not healthy, and she needs to be , after the break up we talked abit, told her I hope she's still in my future, she said she hopes too, everything's just cloudy, said I really do love you and stuff. I was too much, I kept talking with her like we were still together, and she eventually blocked me, told me her phone broke, I went further found out it didn't, blew up on her, questioning if she ever loved me, she told me if I honestly think she didn't love me then go **** myself, and blocked me from all social media and I haven't spoke to her in a month, I want to fix this I do so bad to apologize for questioning her but just don't know what to do, I believe she loves me, but I'm just lost, I selfishly want a reconciliation, because I want to be there, be with her but I'm just rambling now, she always told me I understood her so well, I don't understand, we never fought, I need insight