10 years and counting

Hello my fellow warriors of misery, i have been reading the posts and can relate to many things. I hope we can all help each other get better. What bothers me most with depression is the irritability and the anger. I went on zoloft when i was 20 and am 30 now. Besides making me feel a bit numb and indifferent it didnt so much. I spent the last 10 years in a general state of sadness and low energy and drive. I am 30 now and tired of seeing my life go by wity no passion no excitement no happiness just a dull sense of things. When i say im tired i mean frustrated and angry and very irritable which is not the person i am. I hate the person my sickness turns me into. I will act in ways and say hurtful things to ppl i care about, things i do not mean, and this often damages my relationships and leaves me feeling worse about myself. I saw another doctor recently who prescribed me cipralex and promised il be better in a few months, provided i also stop my daily marijuana self-medication, which ive had since 20 yrs old and helps me cope woth the depression, or seemed to. If anyone has any thoughts or experience that might help i would appreciate it.

Hi karen thanks for your reply, this is kind of a repeat post i forgot i posted 2 days ago saying roughly the same stuff so i will go ahead and delete this thread thanks again for your reply.

i agree to look at any underlying causes. medication is really hit or miss. doctors have no idea really on the efficacy. obviously they prescribe the best medication for you. medication and therapy are excellent tools in combination to successful management. looking at mindfulness as a practice is very beneficial also.